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Widest Forum => Short Stories => : Jodekss May 08, 2017, 11:54:57 AM

: Skits
: Jodekss May 08, 2017, 11:54:57 AM
A short comic performance. A jeer or sally; a brief satire.
: Re: Skits
: Jodekss May 08, 2017, 11:57:01 AM


I have been told of your arrogance and dishonesty my friend. My friend you are no more my friend. We started together from infantry yes, but now that you are back rich you have turned your back on me, your best friend, before you departed Obiageli village.

It is not like that my good old friend; you should understand me better than...


Wait... Nkeji and Uzo have said and complained the same thing aGeli. I know wetin I dey say jor. The whole village have known about your arrogance. Beneath the palm tree there, there we would sit on the ground to take palm wine till we are high and lost it.
And you promised not to forget home didn't you?
Hmm... the maxim is true, "do not trust your fellow man when he is poor, let him be rich and stinking of it before you begin to trust him." The aged are sure wise, now I see.

What have you seen?
Take it easy my friend. Why all this... abi? I believed if the whole world were saying this you would stand up and speak in my stead that I would never turn my back on family.

Shio... look at you, you are not the same aGeli I used to know hey... My friend you are not my friend. As in look at you...

My new clothes. Lagos wears? You are scared of me for my wealth or you too are jealous?


My friend, you are still my friend. Clothes will varnish but not the memories we share together.


The four of us: Nkeji and Uzo and you and I are leaving back for city together.


We leave first light tomorrow.

: Re: Skits
: Jodekss June 10, 2017, 03:36:11 AM
Mother Suwa.

Bats were chirping quiet loudly in the air that midnight. The silence that moment had had the semblance like none before. Not even one sound could be recorded I could remember very well; everything was as dead as the cold hands of death himself. Except for the chirping of the those bad birds whose verses I averse so very well. And the continuous shout help help help that coupled the whir of the birds. It was the tone of Suwa, Fijy's mother, who was as old as the worst tattered rag one could ever picture.
Fijy had all ready woken and the shout which continued was not a great shock to him, in spite it was in the midnight, so he sped down like a squirrel treated for maniacal plight to the area the shout was coming from to know what was going on.
''Fijy, Fijy, Fijy. It was..., It was... Ah... Ah... Ah...'' Suwa said crying, gasping and quivering right in her room.
She was in the rest room where people rest of cause. The bedsheet, for covering the bed of cause, had fallen and the bed had shifted from its face to the back part. The stool, which receives food to be taken of cause, and all that that stood before the midnight had turned opposite. Even the pictures that were hung in the room had fallen again. The good food she was served she would not eat had developed maggots overnight again. Still screaming right on top of her loud voice, she was crying alongside with tear glands flocking up the floor of the room like the great ocean we were told in the tales. She was seated at the tip of the bed and it was the coming in of Fijy into the scene that quieted her.
Fijy entered and was aggravated and saddened to the core in the heart. His countenance dropped having seen what the well set room had turned to again, weariness was what took him up next with its painful tusks, for that night was not her first night to scream right in the mid of the night since her arrival from the village.
''Mama, is it your usual dream again or something else this time?'' Fijy asked mellowly putting on the light from the switch at the entrance into the room. Suwa would not talk again, in the stead of telling her son what went wrong she went into her sleeping position with her back facing the face of the bed. Fijy left the room confused again for her mother would not tell him what she saw in her dreams that would always make her scream almost midnightly. He was so very tired of neighbours asking him questions he has no answers to when the day breaks, about the causes of the screaming from his house. All he would always do was to lie that it was his mother who has mental problem. He loves Suwa a lot no doubt about that, even the intervention of his wife to send her back to the village would not make him do that.
In the following morny, the nightguards that watch over their streets came to pay him a visit.
''Dr. Fijy, we have been contemplating whether to come over here to come and ask you why someone would always make a disturbing noise in your building for long. So yesterday we agreed to'' their leader said. One of them added, '' sir, am one of the nightguards that watch over your affairs besides God when you have gone to the bed to sleep, the kind of noise that person makes would always make wake us up thinking may be thieves are on raid again. We have come really to urge you to tell that person to stop it, it is not helping, it disturbs and diverts attention, you are well read, am sure you would understand us''.
After three days, the same thing repeated itself at the same time it did the last time. The next Saturday even was the day and time scheduled for the estate meeting that happens twice in two months, the issue was what was discussed on through out the meeting. Suwa lied that it was his mother who was mentally ill that would always make the disturbing noise. The street elders then urged him to take her to the appropriate hospital for appropriate care, they made him aware they live in estate filled with persons of affluence, who have businesses they think about all day and the night's only when they rest but now his mother is denying them that. He promised he would do something soon and the meeting came to a close.
Suwa bought a local daily paper, a week after the meeting held, it had it that some pinchers were caught around Visuwo Street, Bopruz Avenue, Degi Area Ilumodun State and have been jailed for the assassination of Mr Plater, a white man, who  had come to invest in the country. Their pictures were at the front page of the paper, the max. were enough even for blind persons to see and identify.
Out of disgust, Fijy soliloquised ''where exactly are we going to in this country?'' ''What's happened again my son?'' Suwa asked. Fijy picked up the paper n' showed his mother, ''see, these young men killed this whiteman who've come to come and help this country up''. ''Ah Ah Ah, my son this is a good news, this is the reason I make noise usually in the midnight''. ''What?'' Fijy asked confusedly.

#Jodekss Gloatkenf.

: Re: Skits
: Jodekss June 20, 2017, 02:03:50 AM
It happened back in the year 3014 AD, when technology started cooking us finer feeding us and helping us with our filth whilst walking on the streets sides. We did not need water closet in those days though; it was viably available, technically built to cook one's best dishes than the best man chef one could ever call to... I had a
: Re: Skits
: Jodekss June 29, 2017, 04:01:10 AM
Dramatic Sketch

Knocks repeatedly on the door


Amat, Dramic, Ramatic

Sketch: [seated]
Knock once
And she'd peep through your ante next
And would open the...

Amat: [amazed]

You know what a cuss is of cause.

Sketch: [relaxed]
I don't
A cuss
A course
You produced the same way
Your praised grade's a waste...

You have done the untold
She's mine
As it is his; so, it is, here
He is mine
She is mine
I... could... burn... you with juju as you sit

We'd get another teacher for my friend's son and in-law. [Aside]

She is there
Tell her to follow you when are done barking here
I have Elementary class.

Amat: [blubbering]
Baba... baba say something...
She's following her to class
Like your hunting dog.
Baba... Ba...

Ramatic: [Gazes]

Shut up...
Stop that... you know what he can do.

Amat: [Releaved]


Dramic: [Determined]

*Laughs boisterously.

Death, disease. Which one now?!

Ramatic: [Reassured]

Mm... that's my friend
It is your fight.


Amat, Ramatic...

The End.

: Re: Skits
: Jodekss July 01, 2017, 01:47:27 AM
A piece - dramatic piece...
A: B, am kind of feeling extremely hot, no no not as in arousal thing but feeling feverish or somethin'...
B: (relieved) A if that is the case it's a minor thing, go to the health centre for pills...
C: Ahem! When did this your feverish, hotness of the body right? When did it start?
A: (a brief rumination) ya, immediately I was back from Lagos I suppose... So, what are you tryin' to purport o boy be very careful o, God forbid... Ah... Go.....d forbid...
(B and C flapped in paces away from A, jolted alongside hyped curiosity...)
C: Ahem...! You know what please you just remain down there we are coming to go n' get help... (Jolting) (Aside; o good God I have touched him to know the gravity of the fever o Go......d...d..
.d...d...d...d...d... Goo....d God... Once it is too hot, above 38 degree they say it must be...yeeeeh.... !)
A: Why the long pause, the ramblings...?
C: ah...! It is nothin' , (smiling) you know, I was just, just, you know just thinkin' on how you are gonna get fine that is all... (Smiles...,wrily...)
B: Well, I believe all is well, I have just resolved that perhaps we should you know, just help you down to the health centre you know for some test to know which pills to take and all that no arm meant o...!
C: (Relieved restlessly) Good (aside: what if he is po..si... O no good God forsake that o am positive...!)
Dr: Yes yes, the result is here, should I...
(Reeeeeeead it o sir, please do... Please - cut in; sreeched his school mates standin' further away from their sick fella whom they have come to wish quick recovery...)
Okay, the result is really not a good one to be blunt, this is what we've been warning you students against, most importantly against this deadly disease, a so very deadly disease but look what we have here, the test result is...
(C passed out in the hands of B...)
What...? "asked the doctor..."
(Go on dr...we shall wake him up later... Replied; the standin' students...)
Well, you, Mr. A are HIV positive...
(Shouts of joy from the students... Tons of thunderous hallelujahs creating rooms for robust glory...glory...glory... Followed by hugs, close hugs by 'em all, some kissin' A's cheeks...)
B: (One big slap - she's left handed...)
wake up jo...
C: (firkin' about, holdin' grounds all over - still dazed up...) So, so, B, so, so what was the result...?
B: A asked to have a chat with you in his bed...(hissed...)
C: A chat?... What was the result please, tell me the result first... Please, please...pl...
B: (cuts in curtly...) HIV positive ni...
C: o God, thank you, you know am of fidelity, I know you'd answer my prayers, o thank you my sweetest daddy... Where is A, B...?
B: (retortly...) Ask Z...
C: #Ebola ... Ah...you ehn...! (Giggles...)
#jodekss ...
: Re: Skits
: Jodekss July 02, 2017, 07:05:56 PM

: Re: Skits
: Jodekss July 05, 2017, 03:46:28 AM
So rat call rabbit to tell those rabbids to tell rabbis to come out with their own suggestions, it is high time we did something about our plants which are turning yellow when tortoise's remain green like some paradise's pasture. Where is tortoise rats?
"He said he would be around after the harvest of his mango that started ripping few days ago... This I know when I went to disseminate the tidings to his abode the last announcement I made."
All right, in fact his presence is not needed since he won't reveal unto us why his own farm keeps booming of produce but ours, even mine, my own farm - the farms of the king of all jungles in the world know this dire drought. It is okay, go, call around the monkey - the Ifa priest, we need a way out, he is our messiah and our last resort or something else, something like munching one another starts to happen to this dorp of ours.
Rat, tell those soldier ants to march in powerful pace in procession to the monkey's, tell them to tell him I need his hands here nay, begone...!
"Okey-doke the king, on my path all ready..."
You chiefs, try and take it easy, no more dying of sons and daughters and plants in this mileu as a result of starvation cos our farms are not yielding, it is a spell, the deeds of some oppugnants hiding amid us, even perhaps just now has done, but all shall be revealed in no time and peace and fat shall return for dear life.
"I rat, your minion is back but my king, I have come with a bad tidings in my little mouth, I told the ants to do as you have commanded but their commandant made it clear to me that monkey was not around, he went into the other jungle far north for some herbal concoction and some other leaves he need to do some spiritual works and necessary invocations to better our land. Nonetheless, I have outside his acolyte, his best student, he said he would do us as expected the monkey himself."
Tell him to speed in then... Abi, what do you all think my chiefs?
"Yes of cause, let him come around."
Yus, help us to inquire Ifa why we are experiencing drought in this dorp but with the exception of that tortoise please, be urgent, be urgent, what did Ifa say jo?
"Sir, am still taking out the Ifa divination table..."
Ifa said it is the tortoise right?
"Your majesty, am about trying to begin to start...!"
Then talk, I have no time my people are dying...
"Your highness, please, few more time..."
Just tell me it is the tortoise, that is all we need to...
"Yes it is the tortoise... Deal with him, chastise him, break him in the process of all this, everything shall return to normal sir... I say so..."
Bears in the house, elephants in the house, mammoths in the house, you have heard him, carry it out or do you not want produce in your stores? Boas, go and strangle him here, dogs, all you animals within and without with high sense of smell, like other lions to dogs, go out leading the boas.
"I have done nothing my king, I do not understand why my own farm knows nought drought, I guess I was lucky..."
Quiet, who are you to talk in my presence! who on earth do not know that you are deceitful, treacherous and para-selfish. You were the one that went to drought, you invited him around to come and possess our farms, letting yours be... All you heavy animals, beat him, fall on him, do him all your worst, use your fisticuffs nay...
"Ah ah ah, *eyi ko da o, you have broken my back cos of what I didn't do ah, gods shall vindicate me...!"
Yus, let's send the rat to go and check out farms, rat, tell those eagles to check it out for us and send the message speedily. Tire him to that fallen rafter, if the farms are still the same way, we further the beatings till we see changes...
"Sir, am back, the eagles said they even looked worse now..."
Ahhhhhhhh... leave me, I will devour him at once, let him go and join his ancestors...
"Hallo o, I am monkey, the Ifa priest of this jungle, I am endowed with powers and with incomprehensive mights, charms, incantatory remarks of any design and all dialects and understand all dialects. Wait, why are you punishing this innocent, silent and salient being? He is not the one that did it, I did it all..."
"I poisoned every farm with some powerful spell from with old language...
I advised my acolyte to be patient to deceive the king, the king's ethic is filled with squeamishness and utter hastiness which may make all misgo into extinction if something is not done, so I would urge the king to always take things easy, you hastened my acolyte cos of a ready hatredness you have planted herein your heart for tortoise, a good king shouldn't king that way... My warmest empathy to those that have lost one thing or the other whilst trying to make things look finer. I followed Ifa's words I didn't just do it out of my own urge to spot changes so, I know you won't blame me so much now. Only the rat, the king's minion and I know about it all. If I do not do all these, many species would go into extermination via the jaws of the carnivorous..."
Ah, rat, so you know all these from the out-set?
"Yes, my king..."
"I, the Ifa priest leaves you all in peace... And my king, Ifa beseeches you to take things jammy..."
[This is the reason tortoises' backs look broken till date... This is because they mistook him for what he didn't do cos he was believed to be so very cunning...]

: Re: Skits
: Jodekss September 11, 2017, 08:42:57 AM
Entered: (Afiphy, Bafi, Cizyq and Iza).

Cut the sounds of that lute
And the indifferent ones crawling out from Bafi's looted flute
I want to complain
Give me a room to explain,
Why be the course of life be this gloomy?
The minds of man raised on a scaffold merit some red shot
Again I have helped another needing Mummy
On his back back alive he was hanging me sucked in short.

Again, this regular complaint with an elevated sinew buys our minds
Mighty sicknesses in the head, kempt the details
Reeling them would thrust a blunt dagger through
My aged-long sour to get going to do
Even with Bafi's robbery life and hell's winks with his wild wind
Waiting for same; some joy still flows in and out in kind
For him but you, Afiphy, lief by pain
Always laced irksomely when you wake another neighbour to reign.

I have nothing to say today
I am leaving you have labelled me scoundrel to my face
That is not bad but I must say
I need to leave for my tummy is nay as dry as a moonless day.

My words shall be short
I have a big farm to cut
So my feller in paraphrase
Do good to all and pray
To heaven to refill your stores
Man are wicked, am sure say
You know now but no curse
Nor go ire would I endorse
Give to whom you can
And pry it is painless than
When you starve yourself to feed foes.
So surely you wake a wicked Mummy
He would only suck you aught dearly.
I will free my mind and open wider my door
Even though I moan for more I will give some more
As long as the face of heaven remains up
Would the hands of the munificient be atop.
But I would complain again my
I am not a god, cut me I will bleed.

Exeunt: All.