Top 47 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
This is a collection of 47 Quotes, Memes, Puns, Wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE the online miscreant for the last 7 days.
1. I love you, I will marry you; are two different things. Ladies, stop misquoting Men.
2. Babe, let's go & spend 2 days in my home town. And if she says 'I cannot be part of your Village People' just know she's a Witch.
3. Bachelorhood, sleeping alone, thinking alone all would END soon for Me. I have paid my dues enough.
4. At times I usually think I'm a WIZARD, cos I get most of my inspirations at Night.
5. Fuck in the day time & write at night. An advice from an old man.
6. You know why I will not bother myself about BUHARI again on my Wall? I have a B.A & His WAEC is still in doubt.
7. The more you expand, the more you get busy. Be happy that you're getting very busy as a result of your expansion.
8. I have missed my PERIOD is not a yardstick to track him down for Marriage if his mind is not there. LINDA IKEJI is still a Baby Mama.
9. She always keep her legs funny to take selfie? Wait to see her 1st in real Life to confirm she's a disable.
10. If you cannot say this 'God make my Life like that of Buhari' as his supporter, then STOP supporting a GOAT in a human clothing.
11. 7 years after NYSC, you're still with your parents. You support Buhari. You're a Feminist, an Atheist & a Gay. See how miserable you are.
12. You have a Ph.D, why kill yourself over a Man with no WAEC (Buhari)?
13. If you have SEEN over 5 of my Posts on your TIMELINE this year & You have not dropped any REACTION, You have a low self-esteem.
14. Go to your Mobile Uploads, if the total number of Photos uploaded on Facebook are more than 1,500 selfies; You're having low self-esteem.
15. It's not only by uploading your photos every second on Facebook dear Young Lady. Have good character & something upstairs.
16. Most Ladies/Girls who upload PHOTOS every now & then on Social Media feel that's the right way to find their Husbands. TRUE or FALSE.
17. Apart from sexual intercourse, which other way(s) do people cheat in Relationships?
18. Finally, BUHARI did it. Every Post now have "HATE SPEECH' under 'Give feedback on this post' on Facebook. I can sniff stupidity.
19. If you value your pastor more than your husband, something is wrong with you.
20. You call your Pastor DADDY, & calls your Husband PAPA AKPOS. You see your Life?
21. Learn to be grateful, no matter the situation & circumstance. Happy Sunday.
22. Just 3 days after we had unprotected sex, she told me she missed her period. How come, I thought it usually take 21 days for a baby to form?
23. Just think about this. Solomon had 700 Wives & 300 Concubines. That's 1,000 women in his Life. Yet he still remain the wisest Man ever. Are you thinking what I am thinking?
24. Modern Day Love: Sms', Audio Calls, Airtime, Voice Notes, Video calls, Chat. Name others.
25. I cannot like my own post. Says a man whose girlfriend is being *kpanshed by 5 Guys in the same hood. Like what you do/have.
26. Even Plagiarists (People who steal Posts) are claiming to be MEME Makers. Social Media is a terrible Place.
27. For like 5 months now she has not uploaded any picture. Saw her yesterday, she is pregnant. Does pregnancy stop Ladies from uploading photos?
28. If she says until you send me transport fair I will not come, leave her. She's not a wife material. She's just a girlfriend material.
29. Sex is not the only way to cheat. Name other ways people cheat.
30. Those who set their Profiles on Facebook to FRIENDS, what's actually their problem? You cannot like or comment on their posts, but they can like & comment on yours whose profile is on PUBLIC.
31. Love a woman. Understand a man. There after leave the rest to take their proper shape.
32. After so much make-up, You still look like a frog; an ugly substance will always be ugly.
33. It's not documented anywhere that only Guys should make the 1st move. Girl make him know how you feel towards him.
34. As a Lady, if you love your Man make him know it. He is not a prophet to know what's on your mind.
35. Those who post here & there 'I'm still a Virgin' what do you want us to tell you?
36. If you're looking for a way to insult Me, use the inbox. Must you come on my comment & insult me for a post you couldn't comprehend?
37. Since you two would be having sex together, both of you should plan, finance & execute your marriage together.
38. If a Lady cannot bring anything to the Table during marriage, leave her. Marriage is not meant to be one sided. For goodness sake you're changing her marital status from single to married. She should be able to bring something to the table cos you're equally taking her from single hood. You both should plan & finance the marriage. If she cannot raise anything to support you in the marriage financially, leave her for another person. If you don't, she would have it in her mind that the marriage is a Union where you would take care of Family, her needs etc singlehandedly.
As both of you would be having sex together, you two should be able to finance whatever you want together.
Stop that demonic personality called 'Feminism' in you. Males & Females are equal, no one is more than the other. Never glorify the rights of the females over that of the males in Life. They are both equal. Don't follow anyone or any concept trying to tell you to place more priority on one gender than the other. Males & Females are equal in the society.
39. Some insults are meant to catapult you to another level in Life.
40. The best revenge You can give to anybody is to work harder & make it real big.
41. I decided to cut a lot of Friends off the very day I rounded off my NYSC for reasons best known to me. So if you're my friend & You don't know where I stay, it's not my fault. If APC could adopt CHANGE mantra, who Am I?
42. Friends you hang out with have a way of influencing you whether you like it or not.
43. Where you reside have a way of affecting your Thinking. Believe it or not.
44. In some places in PortHarcourt, a year House Rent for 1 Room is what someone would pay for a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere in Warri.
45. Ladies were scared to get married to Ritualists back then. But, now many Ladies do push Men into rituals all for the raba (money).
46. Many guys on Facebook use the BIRTHDAY Notification to track Ladies down every day through airtime & money transfer.
47. If he gives you N1,000 to cook for him, squeeze the money & stone it to his Face. Says a girl whose Father has never dropped N200 for feeding for over 5 months now.
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer & an online miscreant. Carving of memes usually baptised him with so much joy.

Top 57 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 57 Jokes, Quotes, Memes, Puns, Wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last 7 days.
1. If You DM your EX I can call You DMX.
2. Most of the People saying 'Marriage is not an achievement' are just suffering from inner hurts.
3. When I took the decision not to manage again was when I was not invited for a Family Meeting. I told myself I MUST MAKE IT.
4. I'm beginning to Think buying of SHARES is just a SCAM in Nigeria. 2005 (13) years now, no statement from the Company.
5. The way some persons steal posts still makes me wonder if it's only Buhari that's stupid in the World.
6. Ways You can REDUCE your physical FRIENDS & focus on your dreams in 2019.
1. Start training pigeons.
2. Change your curtains to Black & Read.
3. Change your Bedsheets to Black.
4. Speak loud to money before you give them out to them.
5. Use red handkerchief to wipe your windscreen & sit before you turn on your ignition.
6. Apply powder only to your forehead & speak very loud in an unknown language whenever they are around.
7. Use your phone to touch your forehead before you pick up any call in their presence.
👇COMMENT ways people can reduce their physical friends.
7. You said you're an Atheist, but when any Prayer is posted online You would be the 1st to comment AMEN.
8. Marriage is nothing. But it's the 1st thing on your 2019 Prayer Points. Liars on Social Media.
9. That little evil spirit telling you you're a STAR when you're not will build up PRIDE in You, & you might end up in misery & grief.
10. Which of this group is more stupid on Social Media? Atheists, Religionists, Feminists, Artist(e)s, Scientists, Gays, IPOBs, Wailers, Hailers
11. We just have a lot of stupid Nigerians on Facebook. Imagine someone complaining that someone liked over 20 of his posts & decided to block the person. What is that online Goat feeling like?
I have friends in Asia, Europe etc. that would even mention you & say 'Thank You' for just a single LIKE on their posts.
Why are most Nigerians so silly cos of a Platform that a Non-Nigerian launched into orbit?
Why are most Nigerians always claiming to be what they are not on Social Media?
Did you know most annoying things online are done by Nigerians?
In this 2019, If I see anyone claiming to be a Felebrity (Facebook Celebrity) & I run a check on him/her and realised that person got no group that is over 80,000 (80K) members I will BLOCK that GOAT alongside the boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, pastor, priest, teacher, lecturer, counsellor etc.
12. They said N30,000 was too much as a minimum wage, but Budget said Buhari's daily hair cut was N235,616. Sardonic Nation.
13. Nothing irritates me like an intelligent post with this last line 'Argue with your ignorance'. Intelligent posts are like debates, we must argue.
14. Make it a ritual to always make people happy each day.
15. Be useful to yourself. People invite you to like & join pages/groups, must You tell us? Put your Brain to work & think something to post.
16. Some persons are silly on Social Media. You flaunt her as your Girlfriend for 5 years on Facebook & dump her to marry another girl. Whoever would marry that Lady now will be seen as someone who got married to a second hand product.
PLEASE, stop this childish behavior on Facebook.
Another dude has been using this Sisi's photograph as his Profile picture on Facebook for 4 years now. I just noticed he put up a screenshot of their chats. Come here, Bro; when you two were busy making people like us jealous you were never aware that you were at the University Of Stupidity (UOS).
This Aunty can put up posts in praise of her Yahoo Boyfriend for Africa. Just yesterday, I saw that she has left the relationship with a very brutal post to the dude.
STOP destroying people's destinies all in the name of online flaunting here and there.
I'm not against anyone flaunting their relationship online, but be wise if you must...
Experience they say is a good Teacher.
END outrageous flaunt today.
17. The way Producers portray the Nigeria Police Force in movies, just wish they are that efficient...
18. You're married & still got a Bachelor. English is a silly language.
19. Music is stupid. A married man will release one track & they will call it SINGLE.
20. Now that he is still SINGLE you will not shoot your shots as a Lady. Thunder will blast you when you show him greenlight after he might have engaged someone.
21. Children at times are something else. They would save from January - December & end up using an entire saving for fireworks (knockouts).
22. How can I be angry & still have erection? Who is controlling my 3rd leg?
23. I'm not looking for a Virgin to marry. I don't have that time to be teaching somebody how to 'do the do'.
24. One Slay Queen did post a group photo with the caption 'Family Is Everything'. How come she ask her Boyfriend for almost everything?
25. If Robert Mugabe with over 3.1 Million Page LIKES could have 1,575 Likes & 56 Comments, who Am I with just 5K Friends & Few Followers? Facebook is full of Ghosts.
26. Careless tag is when you tag 98 persons in a post & receive less than 20 likes & 4 comments after 3 days.
27. At 21 you have committed 5 abortions already, are you allergic to condoms?
28. Welcome to Facebook where most plagiarists claim to be Philosophers with stolen quotes.
29. Welcome to Facebook where most People live fake lives.
30. Welcome to Facebook where most people can date for 2 years without getting to see before breakup.
31. Welcome to Facebook where most noisemakers don't make any amount of money on the platform.
32. Welcome to Facebook where a Slay Queen can upload over 5 pictures daily & nothing in her Brain to contribute in a relationship.
33. Welcome to Nigeria where an Army General cannot fight Boko Haram.
34. Welcome to Nigeria where the educated ones live in poverty & illiterates live in affluence.
35. Welcome to Nigeria where the Federal Government negotiates with terrorists & still claim to be fighting same terrorists.
36. Welcome to Nigeria where some Drivers don't have License, but those who don't know how to drive possessed Licenses.
37. Stutters cannot control their anger. A stupid Lie from the pit of hell. I know how to control my anger very well.
38. Where are those MMM Crusaders? I told you Thunder shall MUTE you all,  months ago & You felt I was a Prophet of Doom.
39. Who is more wicked? A girl that disappointed a guy for 5 times & didn't show up or a Guy that left the Girl in a Restaurant after eating like 8K on her final arrival which is the 6th time?
40. Some of us as Boyfriends are trying our best, cos Yahoo Boys have changed their mentalities.
41. Your pastor have 8,000 members in his Church (Headquarters & Branches). I have over 500,000 members in my Groups. He preach daily, I think & craft works to keep the groups updated each day. If he is called, I was called as well.
42. Some of us are more active in Groups than our Walls. Some groups are over 100K members, when Friends are just 5K.
43. You will not appreciate what brother JOB passed through in the Bible until you see a BOIL in your Armpit.
44. Just do your thing. No matter how good or bad you are online, some will still talk bad about you.
45. You said you cannot REACT on my Posts, who said You're not jealous of my progress?
46. If you realised that the so-called BRO IN CHRIST is her *Kpansher, what would you do?
47. If you LIKE what I do online, use the FOLLOW button on my Profile. I want to be getting your posts on my Timeline. Let's be closer.
48. No one should provoke me this year. Where is it written that I can't have Gospel song(s) on the background while I *Kpansh?
49. When a lecturer failed a dude who dated his girlfriend, they saw it as normal. But, when a dude did impregnate that VC's wife; he was said to be stupid. Education is not fair.
50. 3 months for lecture. 2 weeks for Exams. Education is not fair.
51. One lecturer will take less than 7 courses year in year out & expect you to pass over 65 courses for 4 years. Education is not fair.
52. A lecturer will lecture you for 3 months & expect you to answer 3 months questions in 2 hours. Education is not fair.
53. Bring on the ugliness in Me as long as my Bank Accounts are loaded. Who get paid by handsomeness?
54. What is the CRIME of those who used part(s) of their Bodies for Money Rituals?
55. People who speak the raw/naked Truth hardly get the desired Likes & Comments.
56. You're with your Wife & you're thinking about a side chick, do you love Chicken that much?
57. An erect manhood is an illiterate, it has no conscience. BISHOP (OKON) UMOH. Who said an illiterates don't have a conscience?
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, literatus, freelancer & an online miscreant.

Top 39 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
This is a collection of 39 memes, quotes, jokes, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the passed 7 days.
1. At times I begin to wonder if some Ladies like anything original. Fake pupils, fake nails, heels, brow etc.
2. Thunder prepare to rape any Lady that would give Me greenlight after I might have engaged anyone.
3. I have 6,317 persons in my Contact. So why should I bother about 1/2 who would always say 'Call Me Back'?
4. An erect manhood is an illiterate, it has no conscience. BISHOP (OKON) UMOH. But permit me to add, an erect manhood is like a little baby; it does not understand explanation.
5. Even Numbskulls do come online to tell you that they are intelligent.
6. If there is no LAW to punish Ladies that rape/sexually assault men in Nigeria, then Lawyers are one sided.
7. Buying of Air Freshener ONLY when she wants to visit should end this year.
8. Some persons can brag for Africa. I overheard someone 'No one can hack my Facebook Account'. My Dear, don't be a ridiculous goat on Social Media. People hack well developed websites with a lot of fireworks not to mention just an ordinary Facebook Account.
9. Before you castigate anyone, make sure you're flawless. Bitter Truth, no one is flawless.
10. That habit of shaving ONLY when you want to visit him should end this year.
11. Believe it or not, some persons are poorer than they appear on Social Media. Others are richer in the physical World than they appear online.
12. African Ladies see it as a crime to take Men out.
13. Ladies Should Know We Need To Be Loved as well.
14. Poverty is a bastard! You have never in your Life gotten a book worth N2000, but your 1st book goes for N7000. Ask around to know that when it's not your time you can put the book for N50,000 per copy & still remain poor.
15. You don't expect me to call the following individuals:
A. Those who cannot control their anger.
B. Call me back clicks.
16. That silly habit of going to Church to fart should end this Year.
17. Whatever they sent you via inbox must come on your Timeline. Dear, try buy N30 SENSE.
18. Say something to Buhari:
A. I blessed the day he came to this Earth.
B. I cursed the day he came to this world.
19. Women are bad. Words from a man who has been married to his wife for 25 years. Don't fool me, Old Man.
20. Have you come across those Idiots who only comment on your posts when they disagree? They want to claim Solomon of Africa.
21. If looking good is good Business, why do SlayQueens still work?
22. No matter how popular you are, if I have given you several likes & comments & you refused to reciprocate; I will just UNFRIEND You. I don't give a fuck.
23. To all the foolish plagiarists on Facebook, stealing of posts should end this year.
24. That silly question 'You don *kpansh her?' should end this year.
25. Welcome to Facebook where CEO of over 7 Businesses is still under the parents. They feed & recharge for him/her.
26. Why do the Igbos love the Catholic Church with passion?
27. Why do Calabar ethnic group in Nigeria love Reggae Music with passion?
28. Whenever I see a 75 year old man who married an 18 year old girl I do think Young Men below 35 years are stupid. Why allow a papa to overtake you?
29. A man remains a Boy until he is married. Does it mean Catholic Priests are Boys?
30. Don't fool yourself for someone who is not yours. The more you force your way into their lives, the more stupid you become.
31. Don't use any ugly experience of your Ex on your current partner. Forget about it entirely if U must enjoy Peace of Mind.
32. If you have 5,000 Friends with like 10,000 Followers with no active group or page with over 50,000 members, you're not a Celebrity.
33. BOY: You're beautiful.
GIRL: Stop this nonsense. I'm the ugliest in my Family.
BOY: Low Self Esteem Kill You!
34. Which Social Network do you spend most of your Time?
35. Most people on social media are actually the opposite of what they stand for.
36. For 7 years you both have exchanged over 1,000 SMS' & countless calls as online Friends. Just 3 days with her, you're already tired. My Dear, online is different from offline presence.
37. Most Quiet People online are actually Lions in the Physical World.
38. Most poor Ladies pretend a lot.
39. Most poor Men despite their abject poverty cannot stick to one partner.
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer, creator of memes & an online miscreant.

Top 33 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
A collection of 33 hilarious lines, memes, quotes, wisdom & stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last 7 days.
1. 8 Children for 7 Men. What's actually your Problem?
2. I don't understand the kind of Feminists we have on Facebook. A 45 year old man with a 17 year old girl *kpanshing was taken to another level.
It's now a 31 year old Lady with a 14 year old boy, & no one is talking. Are they one sided or what?
3. Muhammadu Buhari CV: Lost 2003, 2007, 2011 general Elections. Won 2014 Election. Lost 2019 Election.
4. I don't understand. How can one Lady commit 8 abortions for one Guy?
5. After 6 abortions for your ex, you still have the boldness to ask your Boyfriend 'Where is this relationship leading?'
6. Some persons just love to suffer in Life. You have completed your NYSC 4 years ago & your profile picture is still your NYSC kit.
7. GIRL: You must buy me an iPhone this Christmas.
BOY: Is it your birthday or Jesus' birthday? THIEF.
8. Christmas is Christ's Birthday. Buy her anything you wish. & if she rejects it, hand her over to Christ. Don't kill yourself over another person's birthday.
9. Those who take rice to their parents only at this period, does it mean they eat once in a year?
10. After 8 abortions for your Ex, You're still talking about Bride Price. You're sick in the head.
11. Repeat after me "May my Boyfriend not get *kpanshed this period by his village Girlfriend"
12. Say this after me "May my Girlfriend not get *kpanshed this period by her village Boyfriend"
13. Don't underrate anyone cos of where they stay. Some Village Guys would *Kpansh your Girlfriends this period like mad.
14. After some Guys might have insulted Village Girls, they would still travel for the festive period to *Kpansh Village Girls.
15. I like the way some Village Boys *Kpansh some of these Slay Queens this time of the year. Skin to Skin.
16. Soon, some Slay Queens would travel to the Villages to showoff what they don't have (Wigs, Mascara) etc.
17. Slay Queens will go & *kpansh those they insult almost everyday (Village People) soon.
18. From December 29, We shall know those who are in the Villages. Facebook would be a little bit silent.
19. Without Christmas & New Year, some persons will never visit their hometowns. SMH.
20. Christmas & New Year: Most wonderful time of the year. Only when some people go & *kpansh their Village Lovers.
21. Those who add MHIZ, ITZ etc to their Names on Facebook are always below 30 years.
22. 3 Reasons I can marry You: Genotype AA, Blood Group O+, Handsome with good Character.
23. Why should I earn your RESPECT when you talk carelessly to your Parents?
24. How can you sleep from 9pm - 9a.m & say you're waiting for God's Time? Be useful to yourself & family.
25. You cannot have more than 5,000 Friends on Facebook. Followers are countless. But, remember followers don't see your posts like your Friends.
There are groups with over 100,000 (100K) membership. Why don't you negotiate with an Admin to make you a Moderator for a specific period of time to get your business, post, advert, event, promo etc to a larger audience instead of dying in silence? You spend to get/make fame & fortune, believe it or not. If you want to be a Moderator to market your business, sell your product, publicize anything etc to a larger audience? Sms/call: +2348063562857.
26. Always coming to your Boyfriend's house to pack his Foodstuffs is a sign of what?
27. Wikipedia now have Numbskulls as Editors & Administrators.
28. If some Ladies have 500K in their Accounts You would know from their Posts. SMH.
29. If Buhari & Goodluck are to be your Destiny, which would you choose?
30. Everyone cannot be WISE. After all People still prefer Buhari the Numbskull to Goodluck.
31. Less than 6 months of your Marriage, 5 of your siblings are already in your matrimonial home. What's your problem?
32. At 16 years, she can go out & come back anytime. What kind of Parents are we producing in Africa?
33. There are mentions you would see on your Notification, you will know this person don't mention carelessly. While there are other mentions you see, you just Shake Your Head as usual cos they can never REPLY to your Comment without a Mention.
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, literatus & an online miscreant.

HAPPY NEW MONTH!
Welcome to December, the last month of the year. Shine brighter like no other.

Did you know WE can PIN your business, post, advert, event etc. to the TOP of these Groups for 1/2/3/4 week(s)/months & get you the required pulicity?

👉 BUILDING LOVE
https://www.facebook.com/groups/308957963048170?refid=27
Over 109,800 members. A group for jokes, memes, music, news,  entertainment, rants, opinions etc.

👉 JACOB ZUMA & ROBERT MUGABE QUOTES-LAUGH WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENTS
https://www.facebook.com/groups/984680315024809?refid=27
Over 7,295 members. Where creativity is redefined.

👉 BUSINESS EMPIRE
https://www.facebook.com/groups/714162272014510?refid=27
Over 16,342 members. Strictly for Business & Entertainment.

👉 WORLDWIDE BLOGGERS (WWB)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/626922784175711?refid=27
Over 3,935 members. The home of Bloggers & Online Activities.

👉 CREATIVE WRITERS' ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA (CWAN)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1414572268780621?refid=27
Over 15,980 members. The home of writers & creativities.

Feel free to join the above Groups & widen your horizon & enjoy yourself daily online.

~~~~~~~~
Feel at home in the above groups.

______
______
Contact us today on: +2348063562857. Take your business, advert, post, event etc to a greater audience.

Top 80 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 80 hilarious lines, quotes, memes, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE in the last 7 days.
1. Some of you are very stupid. How dare you sleep with 2 Ladies & their Mother?
2. If PHONES were to be BOOBS, some phones would have been flatter than CDs.
3. TIME for some silly sayings/proverbs. ME: No matter the darkness, the vagina will receive the soft rod during coitus with or without light.
4. Being an online GOAT doesn't mean you're controversial.
5. Don't kill yourself over Social Media. Some Posts will not just go far, no matter the wisdom or stupidity therein.
6. Short People are intelligent. Argue with your EX.
7. If after 1 week of marriage, she still bears Her Father's name in real life & on social media; Dear Brother You just boarded a bad vehicle.
8. One Day I would change her surname to ERUEMUARE. With or without your permission.
9. POLITICIANS think going to Rev Fr Mbaka's Adoration Ministry is a sure way to winning elections. SMH.
10. We have the likes of Femi Fani-Kayode & Reno Omokri in PDP. Who can ink with boldness in APC?
11. One COW just said there is a Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) in North East. SMH.
12. What would a Guy value most from here: Give him sex, Introduce him to your parents, Tell her pastor about him?
13. What would a Lady value the most here: Airtime, wash her panties, introduce her to your Family?
14. Everyone is CHEAP on Earth. Even the world's richest man is begging one small Girl to sleep with him.
15. When You BLOCK People, they would feel you don't exist. UNFRIEND them so that they can see your Progress.
16. Ben Murray Bruce makes more commonsense on Radio, Tv & on Social Media than in Real Life. TRUE or FALSE?
17. What is Archbishop Augustine Obiora Akubeze & the entire Catholic Bishops' Conference of Nigeria (CBCN) doing about Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka? Should he be taken to a Psychiatric Home before they call him to order?
18. Young Men, don't be STUPID. Why meet her People & Friends when you know you're not ready for Marriage?
19. How would You feel if I get your business, post, advertisement, event etc across to over 110,000 (110K) persons for 28 Days on a Group? Inbox me via +2348063562857.
20. Now that your Pastor has BLOCKED Me on Facebook, WhatsApp & Calls/SMS, hope when I will hold him in his Church in Warri for being indebted to me for over a year now; You will not insult me?
21. In Life, there is a popular taste at a given time. Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend today might be your EX tomorrow.
22. Nothing lasts Forever. BLACKBERRY is no more in vogue. So will iPhone soon.
23. Only one Lady, 18 Boyfriends online & 5 in Real Life. Are you okay at all?
24. STUPID online hype! You have destroyed my 3 expensive materials. Nonsense Fashion Designer You are.
25. Sanitize your mouth very well before You say anything to me in the morning. I hate rubbish.😛
26. If a post praises Buhari or APC, & You see my LIKE on it; I'm definitely reacting cos of good use of language. I cannot like anything Buhari or APC.
27. 57 Friends REMOVED after hours of checking the LIST. They were too dormant/inactive. 57 persons cannot be obstructing my views.
28. She would value when you wash her panties surprisedly than when you buy airtime for her.
29. You're not educated, no good character, you can't control your anger & from a very poor Family. 4-in-1 Problems.😎
30. We should use Social Media effectively. I will start from this Group. Someone is indebted to me. If he doesn't pay up by 10th of this month I will mentioned his name. He is a Pastor & Journalist. It is over a year now & I'm tired of calling him & sending him text messages. He has BLOCKED Me on Facebook.
And if he leaves the group before that 10th, I might traveled from PortHarcourt to visit him in Warri or in Abraka.

N.B: When I would visit him, he might spend times 50 of that peanut he owes me.
31. After you might have gone to Ogoni, Ijebu-Ode, India etc to get your POWERS, You now opened a Church. SMH.
32. Fake Pastors & Yahoo + Boys/Girls are the same.
33. You must be a BEAST for you to open your LEGS for your Sister's Husband. & You must be a DOG as a Man to do that.
34. With or without a Marriage Course, You can still marry the right person. Don't fool yourself.
35. The Goat that has the boldness to go to the Jungle to test the patience of the Lion will forever regret it.
36. Will You deactivate your Facebook account for N250,000?
37. DAYS People do the highest PLAGIARISM (copy & paste) on Social Media: Day 1 of every New Month, Christmas, Easter & New Year.
38. BLAME Your Mother or GRANDMA who couldn't bath you very well at birth. That's the cause of your offensive body odour.
39. We are not meant to understand everything. Else, all of us would have become 1st Class Graduates.
40. Why I cannot post some LIES on Facebook. Over 1,000 persons know me very well in real Life.
41. Let's know some of your bad HABITs. ME: I operate my Phone while eating.
42. Happy New Month to us all. Some have started thinking of New Year Resolution. Use your Head.
43. No matter who you are, you cannot insult me & go free. I MUST give you double.😁
44. Sometime ago I met a Lady who wanted to kill me before my time. Today I have wiped everything about her from my existence. No person worth stressing your existence.
45. Who is qualified to be called a Felebrity (Facebook Celebrity)?
A. Someone with 5,000 friends and a lot of followers with no group and page.
B. Someone with 5,000 friends and a lot of followers with his groups & pages over 500,000 members.
46. No future with BUHARI & APC!
47. LADIES, now that I'm still SINGLE You will not give me GREENLIGHT; If you near me after I engaged anyone I will INSULT You.😛
48. I can be STUPID at times. That's my MUSE for You.😂
49. You did smile cos You have had your last menstruation for the year.😁 Come let me get you pregnant & forget the pain for the next 9 months.
50. If dressing almost NUDE is civilization, then mad People are more civilised compared to some of our Ladies.😁 •Inspired by Friday O. Eruemuare.
51. What are those things anyone cannot stop you from doing? ME: Insulting Buhari.😆
52. WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS YOU DO SECRETLY? ME: Watching of Blue Movie(s).😜
53. Before you insult People of not being ACTIVE, know that some persons use TECNO T312 & it takes over 50 seconds just to LIKE a single post with it.
54. GIRL: How's PortHarcourt today?
BOY: Terrible. Buhari has destroyed everything.🤣
55. You had sexual intercourse with her 2 days ago. Today you heard she died 4 months ago. Confirmation from the Parents.😛
56. Is either KANU or APC is STUPID!

We cannot continue to live in a society that spread propaganda like mat online and offline.

If You say Jibril Aminu is Buhari, tell us where Jibril house is located in Sudan. Bring his photos & family photos. Moreover, APC can bring the real Jibril from Sudan and clear the ice. Sudanese government should make things clearer on their part, to avoid KANU and APC pouring their stupidities on them.

Sometime ago, NNAMDI KANU did  tweet
👉 “My heart goes out to the family of Habibu Almu the diplomat brutally murdered in Sudan over his involvement in the recruitment of Jubril the impostor.
“He’s gone but truth cannot be killed. Sudanese police/Interpol must uncover who in Aso Rock did this & bring them to justice.”

 Buhari's DNA should be released. The purported cap should be removed. That ear should be analysed. Everything should be done diplomatically & scientifically. We want to know who is the Liar here: APC or KANU. Let's clear the air. Let's be reasonable & stop this childish propaganda on Social Media.

I cannot believe this idiotic idea that Buhari was cloned in London. But, APC should clear the air before 2019 Elections.
57. Both of you left each other months ago. She paid you a visit yesterday & both of you *kpanshed. 5 hours later you heard she died 2 weeks ago. Called her number switched off. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
58. People hardly take you seriously on Social Media.😎
59. I'm happy this Atheism is only on Social Media. Else, some atheists would have produced Silly Movies in Hollywood & Nollywood to mock God.😎
60. If you know you're not beautiful or handsome, upload your photos once in a while like me. Stop disturbing my Timeline with photos like chimpanzee.
61. Whether you spent N10,000,000 or N500,000, marriage is marriage. Don't fool yourself.
62. Sitting at the back of a BUS doesn't mean you're a BOSS.😜
63. 3 years ago he insulted because I did not support Buhari. Today, BOTH of us are sending bitter words to Buhari camp.😂
64. APC & BUHARI: Praise stupidity & mediocrity.😳
65. She does not post anything, but BUSY asking people for recharge cards via INBOX.😎
66. This is Nigeria: We praise stupidity & mediocrity.
67. If I cannot make you smile or make you shake your head with my MEMES then no soul on earth can make you smile.
68. Those who love the withdrawal system are the major cause of STDs.🤣
69. If my MEMES cannot make You smile or shake your head, your problem is bigger than Africa Land mass.
70. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY?
OKON: I watch comedy.
YEMI: I watch blue movie.
AKPOS: I read newspaper.
AHMED: I flog my cows.
ANYANWU: I cook vegetables.
JAMES: I take ice cream.
WESLEY: I leak my woman's plate with my tongue.
KENDRICK: I play with my pet (Python).
You as a reader, what do you do when you're angry?
71. Did you know Buhari is the twenty-third child of his father?
You wonder why his Government is like this?
72. Zulaihat (Buhari's Mother) is the most wicked woman on Earth. She should have flushed Buhari away.
73. Guinness World Record should note this. The most wicked Man on Earth is Hardo Adamu (Buhari's Father). He should have pulled out.
74. I HATE ungrateful People. I ejaculate inside of You, You cannot even tell Me THANK YOU. You will grow with my SPERM You know that.😜
75. Whether You LIKE or HATE Me now is not my problem, it cannot stop me from my PROGRESS.
76. The showoff of Ladies now is terrible. After I engaged my Choice let me see anyone that would give me greenlight. I will just give you RED Card.
77. UNFRIEND button is better. BLOCK will make them think You don't exist again. Unfriend them so that they can see your Progress & Uploads.
78. I just LOVE the following WARRI (Delta) Brothers of mine: DON JAZZY,  EFE, ERIGGA, YUNG6IX, VICTOR AD. One day I know someone would Love Me.
79. You did not make your Bed before you left the House, but you have like 1 hour to be online. Rubbish.😁
80. To know if a girl is beautiful, wake her up at 3.30a.m.
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger & literatus.

Ugly Bougainvillea (F O Eheri)

Baliwe had instinctively sensed her fear as did her five-month-old baby. Like a cinophile, she fixed her gaze on the seams of her house window, trying hard to see what was happening outside. It was relatively dark. The massive chandelier whose glint strained through the seams had been put off. What about the electric bulb in her room? It was really unusual for someone to walk into her room and put off the light from the electric bulb. So, she deemed it a strange moment. She made a sudden dash for the verandah, leaving little Fega on the sofa – she wanted to know what happened. Who left her door ajar. Standing on the verandah for a little while, she made to walk back daintily to her room, out of fear. Fega had already woken up with a jump, almost bursting into cry. His mother crooned a lullaby in Qunu accent [her mother tongue]. He soon fell asleep, and so did Baliwe.
   She felt a touch, rough and squeezy. The touch on her lithe body, she knew it, was not as smooth and warm as that of Doro, her man. It’s been a little while though, she did not forget the sweet caressing of her man. That charming touch. But later on, she felt randy and decided to splay out her legs. Her fluffy jumper was raised up; the cups of her bra were left shifted, and then she felt that leathery touch on her n*pples again. A touch from tubby fingers. Her baby burst into cry – he could barely breathe. The strange man’s tweed-polo-neck shirt and pair of trousers were strewed on his face. As of now, Baliwe’s screams, as if the real deed were on, rent the heart of the man. She was beginning to moan. The echo of her moaning contained Doro. Her voice was full of emotions; it was almost turning into a real humdinger of a game. But every bar and beat of her moaning died down as soon as she heard the innocent voice of her baby. And now she knew it was just a starry-eyed romance. The debauched man had run away. He did not make love to her though, she was downright pained to have realised that it was someone other than her man smooching her. Her mental picture helped her keep track with the man in question – it was Rioke, her brother-in-law.
   Why this? Why’s he taking unnecessary advantage of his brother’s absence? This broken reed… she thought. Rioke had, on several occasions, tried to make advance to her but that was the least of all things Baliwe could do. In all his lies – Doro was reported dead in an auto crash… – all in a bid to wooing her – nothing seemed to catch ice with her. She did hear from Doro through Amina, Doro’s ex-girlfriend and course mate at Berkeley University of California where he studied Medicine, and Baliwe Theatre, Dance and Performance Studies. The last letter she received from Doro contained romantic strings of his poem and when he would be coming to Nigeria. She had barely relished every bit of the poem when Rioke rushed into her room to give his fake news. But she was still driven by the interest of Doro’s The Daffodil on Baliwe’s:
Her pert nose is as smooth and pointed as its petals,
Her voice tender and innocent like its corona,
The choice of her speeches knows no violence.
Only her back, not yet her front, is news that makes men fight,
But I have come to you, my daffodil, to end their fight…   
   Doro was supposedly a better poet (romantic) and singer than medical doctor. His music – She Gave Me Her All – won him the Grammy Award for Best Contemporary Blues Album in 1985. How Baliwe, a South African, fell in love with the handsome ebony-skinned Nigerian was not surprising. His love for her began to grow in its final phase after she won the 1989 Miss Berkeley. But before Doro made to woo her, she had a huge crush on him. It was never a mere schoolgirl crush. And now everyone was happy about the news of their relationship. The two most popular Africans on campus: one a full-blooded Nigerian whom the California State government looked forward to taking on as a medical doctor, and the other an Afro-American – her father was a South African and her mother an American. They both got wedded in one of the Baptist churches in the city of Eugene (Baliwe’s mother’s home city) in winter.
   Seven months or eight had gone and now Baliwe was pregnant. Her lovely mother was with her, all through, in California where she (Baliwe) and her husband lived. Nothing seemed to change her mother’s idea of always being there to take good care of her only child and grandchild. The fact that she was a grown-up not withstanding. Fega was just three months old when both parents took him to his paternal country. Doro was granted leave of five weeks in his place of work and his wife one year at Q1O7.5FM in San Francisco where she worked as a presenter – a renowned one at that.
   On his father’s parking lot, Doro stood with little Fega on his shoulders. His eyes were fixed on the ugly bougainvillea to a tuft of dry grass hung on the avocado tree, then on a catkin near the willow tree. He seemed to absorb the flitting of a bee on the bougainvillea. Its long proboscis would have been something picturesque but there was something, something disturbing, on his mind more than the morning drama of the bee: the death of his parents. He had only spent two weeks with them before their death. They were shot dead on their way from one of the early morning services in Saint Luke Catholic Church, Warri. The thought of who killed his parents, how they were killed and what they did that warranted the bizarre killing became his only concern. Could this be a playback of the death of the Olu’s son [Toju]? His mind began to race across time to find the answer to the question, but nothing seemed to appear on his mind rather than Toju’s death. Toju died during the Warri crisis – the one caused by the boundary dispute between the Okere-Urhobos and the Itsekiris. During the war, Rioke and his boys, supporters of the Urhobo group, were supposedly the murderers of Toju.
But this is late… And who would have said Rioke was the only Urhobo involved in the War? he thought, with his eyes wide open, looking at different directions like someone born with a squint. He hunkered down near the conservatory in the garden and sat down sorrowfully with his baby. Munching his mouth emptily, he made to nuzzle Fega. His silent words, as he looked at the garden subconsciously, could only be heard in quiet lines of dirge. Standing by the avocado tree, Baliwe noticed the look of preoccupation on her husband’s face; so she came near him, rolled up her drab brown long sleeves, cleaned her hands drenched with water on her camisole and hugged Doro by way of consoling him.
   Three months had gone since Doro left Nigeria for the States. He promised to come back to pick his wife, child and his only brother to the States in four months time.
   
   She broke into a trot and then, in a little while, tore down Walter Odili street, making splash with her grey pair of flip-flops. Her eyes were wide open as she ran into the street decorated with streamers of different colours. Getting close to a bush, far from the street, she walked with a rolling gait, her baby crying in pain of the unknown. She had got herself into what she did not prepare for – she stabbed Rioke in the leg. And now he and his friends were frantically looking for her.
   Halfway through the bush, she stopped to climb a tree. Her legs were heavy with the pain from running. Recklessly, she climbed to the top of the tree, her back aching and her black flannel skirt was torn so much so that one could see her velvet laps, thighs and grey p*nts. Her child sobbed noisily; his sound could reveal his mother. In the meantime, two hefty men with stony chests ran past the tree. Their eyes were red with danger. It was really a tough time for her. And equally a tough decision to have stabbed Rioke. Little Fega quickly stopped sobbing as though he was informed of Rioke’s arrival. He trudged and limped slightly around the tree. Sitting down under the tree, he heard a sound, a noise from a baby. A sobbing baby. He stood up, looking flushed and glassy-eyed, dusted his shorts and made to look up again. Baliwe was now beside herself with deadly worries. Nothing seemed to lift her fears. Her heart missed a beat when a blob of her milk industry milk dropped on one of Rioke’s bulging eyes. Her chances were now very slim. But he thought of nothing but the latex of the tree.  Robbing his fingers against his eye, he limped off at once. She climbed down, her legs heavy with tiredness and head throbbing with headache.
   As if she would forever run the way she did, she ran back, with her baby on her back, into the street she had earlier run past. Outside an orchard in a beautiful picturesque compound, she saw an orange tree that was cluttered with pods. Her concern for fruit was lost, and her interest in eating anything was misplaced. She could, seemingly so, feel inured to living without food. But she wished it would be for a short while. Sooner than she had imagined, she walked up to a ripe pod on a muddy ground. She hunkered down, picked it up and turned to go back to the verandah. She flushed to the roots of her hair when she heard someone’s screaming: Thief! It came from a room whose door was left ajar. A dark grotesque sort of lady with missing front teeth came out. Her dark wrinkled face had a mountain of both warps and moles. Upon hearing thief, a horde of children in stripy threadbare p*nts lined up on the scene. Some men in the neighbourhood (some looked tattered with mouths reeked with ogogoro) came too. Baliwe’s  face and her baby’s were defaced with heaps of sand thrown at them. They were soon drenched with adulterated water. Her words – it fell itself; I did not pluck it…  – did not find an echo in their hearts. Her baby cried, sobbed and yelped for something warm. Baliwe was not left out. But she knew in all conscience that her baby was more likely to be harmed by the smelly water than her; so she cleaned his body thoroughly on her wet jumper.
   She was dragged down the street, and was left lonely on a smelling cul            vert. Her cheeks were rough and pale with patches of dry tears. Her baby’s sleek hair was tousled and matted. Baliwe’s looked like she wore a gaudy toupee. Looking at the baby, with eyes filled with motherly emotions, she was forced to shed her own tears. But she hung back; instead, she nuzzled him and decided to remove the cups of her bra and placed her shiny drooping n*pples, one after the other, into his mouth. Although her milk industry milk looked like a curdled pap, little Fega could not help sucking like a hungry bitch.
   Across the culvert, a soignée lady in a tan suit got off her lilac Toyota Cressida. The lady walked past the house terrace, then into the only takeaway on Walter Odili street. Baliwe quickly felt a wave of dé já vu at her careful grace. She bore absolute resemblance to someone Baliwe knew. Someone like AMINA. Her gaze was fixed on the entrance of the takeaway. She wished the lady came out this side of five minutes. She was no longer in her dark glasses when she eventually came out.
   She heard a voice, an echo of her name, sometimes quavering and at another time clear and tense as she made to drive off. Does anyone know me around here? she thought. She just came from the States and had not been to Warri all her life. She came to Nigeria as one of the correspondents of the Atlantic Monthly upon hearing the news of the death of Kenule Beeson Saro-Wiwa (a renowned journalist and human rights activist who was hanged alongside other eight Ogoni sons in 1995 during the bloody Abacha regime) which led to the suspension of Nigeria from the Commonwealth. Her heart jumped as soon as she had a flash of those journalists imprisoned by Abacha – Kunle Ajibade and others. She saw  little of Ajibade only once at Silver Spring in Maryland, USA before his unjust imprisonment. She wanted to turn on the ignition and zoom off but the mother in her craved for the crying baby at the far end of the culvert. She crossed her mind and got off the car. Her rolling gait was unlike her usual self. In a moment, she came face to face with the crying baby and his mother. Though she was shocked, thinking it was a set up, her heart went out to the baby. She screwed up her last courage and took the baby up. Baliwe was thrilled to bit that someone had come to their rescue. Not knowing whom Baliwe and the little baby were yet, they walked hurriedly to where her car was.
   As she drove down one of the streets in the dusk, then into First Marine Gate before Okumagba Layout, they heard the sound of a bomb blast. There was road block. No route to the hotel where she lodged. Their hair stood on end as soon as the Itsekiri boys shot at the tyre of her car. They managed to slip quietly out of the car and hid themselves at the rear of a big kerosene tank. They could see some men in red and white coming towards the car. Amina held the little baby tight to herself. She was ready to sacrifice herself for little Fega. In a bid to change scene and head straight on foot to her suite, a piece of shrapnel wheezed past them. Amina thought it was Abacha’s men but it was eventually relatively clear that it was the Itsekiri and the Okere-Urhobo Warri communal crisis. A long silence fell across the scene. Little Fega wanted to burst into a revealing cry but it was quickly stifled by Amina.
   By the time Doro arrived in Nigeria, he was blindingly happy to come back to his family but his happiness was tinged with disappointment. A total wave of nostalgia. His only brother, Rioke, was found dead in a bathtub. His head was swollen, his eyes bugged with blood.
   Something terrible must have happened to Baliwe and Fega, he thought, having gone round the house and found no one. The scene curdled his blood as he stood, with cheeks cupped in his right palm, near his father’s tomb. A flash of thought ran through his mind. Sherifatu, Amina’s sister informed him that she and Amina were in Warri, at McJames Hotel.
   In his silence, as if  observing the Sicilians’ law of  omerta, he pictured his wife and son lying dead somewhere. What would happen to the colour of Doro’s life if Baliwe and little Fega were found dead? He wished he would not sing another string of dirge. How his life would be a picture book of sorrow, his songs microcosm of Kofi Awoonor’s Songs of Sorrow became a threat to his whole being.
   Doro sped past Walter Odili street and headed straight to Okumagba Avenue. He could get to First Marine Gate this side of ten minutes. His heart jumped when he saw phalanx of soldiers dragging corpses into their vehicles. A little child lay dead near a dead lady by the road side. He felt deadly wounded by this sight. Who would have said that it was not Baliwe and her son? He sustained a nick as he forced himself out of the car. As he pushed through the crowd in his pair of flats, the soldiers on guard pointed guns at him. His sang-froid was gone, but after a while, he felt a hankering desire to die like everyone in his family.
   You can shoot me and let me die like Baliwe and Fega… I owe no good result to this world since all I have are gone. I thought the death of my parents was the only quid pro quo of my brother’s involvement; but before I die, allow me to see my beautiful dead wife and child… he pleaded with his eyes entirely soaked. Before he could stop speaking, Usman, one of the soldiers commanded that all guns should be dropped. Doro and Usman went back twenty years. Doro’s soft speech did not change; so, it called up memories of their days in both primary and secondary schools. He had only heard more of Doro in newspapers and on NTA. He quickly dropped his gun and made to hug him. He led him to the positions of the corpses but none of them bore resemblance to both Baliwe and Fega. His face almost cracked into a strange smile, but that was not all he wanted. He wanted to see both of them face to face – whether dead or not.
   At McJame, Doro saw a lady in an ivory skirt and blouse worn over a pair of sling-back. He, escorted by Usman, walked up to her in a strange sort of approach. The looks on both Doro’s and Usman’s faces suggested that. The lady had heard of the recent crisis ; so, she stylishly walked away from them.
   “Hello!” exclaimed Usman. “We dey ask for someone actually…” But giving dead ears to all of that was her only choice. Walking down one of the alleys near the white-painted gazebo, they saw an orderly coming their direction. They were immediately shown to the front desk. At the lobby, after thorough questioning, Doro, while Usman waited for him at the lounge, was led by one of the waiters to the executive suite (U.K. suite) where Amina lodged. Opening the door, a ghost of smile greeted Doro’s face, the very first time in six weeks. He had seen someone he had always wished to see. But little Fega was not anywhere close to his mother. Wouldn’t it be enough for him if Baliwe was the only safe soul...? Still standing with arms akimbo, he watched his wife intently. Up till now, Baliwe had not known someone opened the door or was looking at her – she, on a supine position on a pull-out sofa, was buried in Ken Saro Wiwa’s A forest of Flowers. She raised up her face to take a little bite from an apple pod and probably take one last sip from saparilla. Her eyes were clear to the presence of her man, her nostrils were relatively good at smelling the fragrance of the cologne he wore, yet  her main preoccupation was the death of the renowned human rights activist whom she met at the White House (Washington DC) while going about her work as a journalist. Doro was surprised at why she did not seem to see him. His walking near her brought back her memory and senses. For ten straight minutes, Baliwe thought it was that sort of imagination that could be likened to children’s Utopia. So she winked, rubbing her palms carefully on her eyes. She could, as of now, think all that was a reflection on a full-length mirror, a mere image on a television, a clear picture on both recto and verso pages of a text book. Her right hand let go the book she was reading and made to sit down warily. Before she could stand up in her grey Italian-made culottes, Doro had, in full speed, rushed to her. His eyes were stained with a virgin colour of love as he looked into her eyes naturally made with sexual charm. His pink lips were invitingly struggling for her warm kiss.
   “You’ve lost me many times in Nigeria to lions in their own den. But I’ve come to know that the test of all these struggles was based on fidelity and patience – the  only mustard seed any good woman of great virtue could grow to stand the test of time… My umbrella was left unhoisted but now I see millions out of the billions of reasons to ever make it hoisted and cover both of us forever. But for Amina, the very good girl you had a fling with, I would have been a sole proprietor of my grave. And then, on my tomb, your snake–like brother’s epitaph would be the poem people read… I would have been killed by now if I had met face to face with him. Sebatana ha se bokwe ka diatla (The attacks of the wild beast cannot be averted with only bare hands)” 
   “… The boxes of my eyes were filled with dry tears when at first I arrived in Nigeria. Our compound was dark with the definition of stained blood and death…”
   “How?”
   “Rioke’s eyes were covered in thick blood of death in a bathtub. He wore dead pair of wellington boots on his legs.”
   Baliwe would have ordinarily developed goose pimples over the news of Rioke’s death, but she knew that was the only food the evil ones hoped to eat at sunset.
See the REPLY to read the rest part of the work.

Top 50 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 50 memes, jokes quotes, wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE within the last 7 days.
1. Your Girlfriend sent you 20K, You gave it to another Lady who traveled to visit You from Abuja. How do you want to Die?😁
2. These SELF-ACCLAIMED Prophets who couldn't tell us the Country that was to win the World Cup are not saying anything about 2019 Elections (Winner) in Nigeria now. After the General Elections they would open their Mouths to gush out rubbish. I just hate Nonsense.😎
3. Don't DRAW my attention when You know you're not an ARTIST.🤣
4. You tagged Me alongside 78 other Friends 'Do You Love Me?' Do I look like a Child to you?😳
5. You have been inactive on my TimeLine for 3 years now. I cannot be the only 1 reacting on your Posts. LEAVE my LIST.😄
6. A Facebook Celebrity is called FELEBRITY. Now you know.
7. Tell Me one Thing They would not Teach You in School! ME: How to follow a Woman.🤣
8. I have no baby mama. I have never committed any abortion. No one is pregnant for Me.
9. Whether pregnancy before marriage, or pregnancy after marriage; pregnancy is pregnancy.
10. Whether you get married after giving birth, or you get married before you give birth; marriage is marriage.
11. I have 2 Friends here on Facebook. 1 was talking rubbish about premarital sex always. Bashing and kicking against it with so much effort(s) at 38. He got a girl pregnant. He is now a Father without marriage. Just cohabitation. The Baby now is his Profile Picture. The other one is a Lady. At 38 she always talk about men being bullshit. She said she does not need a man to make her a complete woman cos she is some how rich. Today, she forced a pregnancy on a friend of mine (don't ask me how). My friend had to engage her. She has put to bed now. All her status now are 'No woman is complete without a man'; 'No matter how stubborn you are as a woman, you need a man to hit you up in your soft zones'; 'I love sex'; 'No man, no life'. What happened to the BITTER Feminist she inserted on her BIO when she was feeling like a Miss World? She realised there is something called menopause. *Ekpa. What happened to all the nonsense she has said about men being stupid?

Just allow People to talk anything they want to talk on Social Media. Some persons don't need advice. WATCH beyond the screen, You will see them eat their own shit in future.
12. Don't be comfortable in Bondage. Break Yourself out. Enjoy your Freedom. Say farewell to daddy & mommy's care.
13. I publicly called you out as a Plagiarist. You went mad. BLOCKED Me. Now you're still stealing Contents to send to me on WhatsApp. Your Father should have pulled out. Waste of Sperm.
14. E-Book 4 Sale! Let's build 5,000,000 Seater. Author: Nigerian Pastors.😄
15. E-Book 4 Sale! Deep, Nice Poem, Best Poem & Wow. Author: Facebook Critics
16. E-Book 4 Sale! I can take care of myself, ejaculate inside. Author: Desperate Ladies.
17. E-Book 4 Sale! Buhari is the best President in the World. Author: Hailers.
18. E-Book 4 Sale! Talk about Buhari rudely & Get the Block button. Author: Hailers.
19. E-Book 4 Sale! He would die if I leave him. Author: All My Ex.
20. E-Book 4 Sale! Buhari is an elder to Atiku, they cannot debate together. Author: Hailers.
21. E-Book 4 Sale! I will murder you electronically. Author: APC & PDP Supporters.
22. E-Book 4 Sale! I can copy from anywhere & post. Author: Facebook Plagiarists.
23. Nov. 26 2009 I joined Facebook. Today (26.11.2018)  I'm celebrating 9 years on Facebook. If I hard a baby mama 9 years ago I would have become a Father. Let me cry.
24. See how time soar like an Eagle. Facebook displayed a video for me, 9 years on Facebook. What if I had a child 9 years ago?
25. Do something good with your Life. Keep doing what you know how to do best. Just ONE DAY You will be a KNOWN.
26. 👉 BUILDING LOVE https://www.facebook.com/groups/308957963048170?refid=27&ref
WHAT THIS GROUP IS ALL ABOUT!
We keep you updated. We welcome quotes, news, rants, literature, politics, opinions, business, music, memes, jokes, gossip etc. Please, don't be harsh with anyone. Be diplomatic here.
Means of Communication is ENGLISH Language.
Enjoy yourself in this group.
27. I will UNFRIEND You. Yes. You. You have been inactive for over 2 years now. I need space. Don't *form Celebrity for me.😜
28. The SEARCH for those who can keep People ENTERTAINED in a Group daily is still on. INBOX me via the page: SIR A-ONE on Facebook.
29. I know of one Guy on Facebook, after sexual intercourse with any of his Facebook friend He would come & broadcast it publicly.
STOP this rubbish, else I might sleep with your Future Wife. I hate nonsense.🤣
30. Someone should be BOLD to propose to His Girlfriend on Facebook. Let's see Her response cos she's dating over 7 Guys online.😜
31. He's dating your Daughter even when he is yet to pay 6 months rent to You as the Landlord? Give him a Notice of Quit. Ungrateful Bastard.😜
32. When someone is set to leave your Life, he/she would leave; no matter what you do. Don't beg anyone to stay. But, you can beg for sex to free yourself.
33. GUY: Babe, can You come around? Let's watch Blue Movie.
GIRL: Thank goodness, I'm coming right away, Boo.😜
34. Why some persons pretend on Social Media, they don't want People to BLOCK or UNFRIEND them. You're useless if that's your mentality. Whether you talk sense or nonsense, people will block & unfriend You. Just be YOURSELF. Stand for what you know how to do best & be proud of it.
35. On Facebook, I get People pregnant daily on my WALL with humour.
36. To TEST the level of your Patience? DATE a Lady.
37. Selfishness is the BROOM & UMBRELLA of Nigeria Politics.
38. While in Primary School, I said I wanted to be a Soldier & serve in the Army. At Secondary School, I learnt the pay is nothing to write home about in Nigeria. Since then I said I want to be a Self Employed Icon & Give employments.
39. Make up your mind to let her know how you feel about her. She would either say YES or NO.
40. Pastors & Priests should live in Luxury. It's not an easy job/work.
41. If your Pastor is the one using the most expensive CAR, use your HEAD.
42. If all he wants is your PUNA, then go after his MONEY & suck him dry.
43. If she's grateful for little things, she's an asset & not a liability.
44. You bring everything about You on Facebook, why not settle it with your Husband?
45. Facebook Background makes you know those who can summarise very well.
46. You sent her 2K airtime & She finished it up without a call/SMS? LEAVE Her, She's not a Wife Material.
47. Whenever a Building collapse that's when You hear all manner of NONSENSE from Government & People.
My Condolences to those who lost their LIVES at the Collapsed Building in Woji, GRA, PortHarcourt.
48. Mr. Patrick died of Hunger. The Children & Family have budgeted N7,000,000 for his Funeral. What a wicked World?
49. If you have the power to change anything in your Country, what would you change?
50. November 22 is yet another day of joy. I'm 32 today with no regret. God BLESS Dad who planted the SEED. I'm grateful to Mom who watered & birthed the Seed. & to Friends who have been there, I'm PROUD of You all. Happy birthday to Me on behalf of my future Wife & Children.
BONUS: Did you know just one public disgrace of a Plagiarist can RUIN his/her several years of activeness? Say NO to PLAGIARISM.
© SIR A-ONE
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer & literatus.
_____
_____
I bring you wisdom, stupidity, jokes, memes etc daily. I'm GOODNEWS ANDREW ERUEMUARE also known as SIR A-ONE.
In the recent past, I have released several single memes & volumes of memes.
Even when your problem is bigger than the land mass of Africa, you will smile as a result of my memes.
•••••
WhatsApp:
https://wa.me/2348063562857
•••••
Instagram
Sir_aone: http://www.instagram.com/sir_aone
•••••
Facebook Profile
GOODNEWS ANDREW ERUEMUARE: https://www.facebook.com/newsman4truth
•••••
Facebook Page
SIR A-ONE: https://www.facebook.com/SIR-A-ONE-239806766161099/
•••••
Websites:
www.pengician.com
•••••
www.widestforum.com
👍🙏👏