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SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 47 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: January 16, 2019, 07:08:04 AM »
Top 47 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
This is a collection of 47 Quotes, Memes, Puns, Wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE the online miscreant for the last 7 days.
1. I love you, I will marry you; are two different things. Ladies, stop misquoting Men.
2. Babe, let's go & spend 2 days in my home town. And if she says 'I cannot be part of your Village People' just know she's a Witch.
3. Bachelorhood, sleeping alone, thinking alone all would END soon for Me. I have paid my dues enough.
4. At times I usually think I'm a WIZARD, cos I get most of my inspirations at Night.
5. Fuck in the day time & write at night. An advice from an old man.
6. You know why I will not bother myself about BUHARI again on my Wall? I have a B.A & His WAEC is still in doubt.
7. The more you expand, the more you get busy. Be happy that you're getting very busy as a result of your expansion.
8. I have missed my PERIOD is not a yardstick to track him down for Marriage if his mind is not there. LINDA IKEJI is still a Baby Mama.
9. She always keep her legs funny to take selfie? Wait to see her 1st in real Life to confirm she's a disable.
10. If you cannot say this 'God make my Life like that of Buhari' as his supporter, then STOP supporting a GOAT in a human clothing.
11. 7 years after NYSC, you're still with your parents. You support Buhari. You're a Feminist, an Atheist & a Gay. See how miserable you are.
12. You have a Ph.D, why kill yourself over a Man with no WAEC (Buhari)?
13. If you have SEEN over 5 of my Posts on your TIMELINE this year & You have not dropped any REACTION, You have a low self-esteem.
14. Go to your Mobile Uploads, if the total number of Photos uploaded on Facebook are more than 1,500 selfies; You're having low self-esteem.
15. It's not only by uploading your photos every second on Facebook dear Young Lady. Have good character & something upstairs.
16. Most Ladies/Girls who upload PHOTOS every now & then on Social Media feel that's the right way to find their Husbands. TRUE or FALSE.
17. Apart from sexual intercourse, which other way(s) do people cheat in Relationships?
18. Finally, BUHARI did it. Every Post now have "HATE SPEECH' under 'Give feedback on this post' on Facebook. I can sniff stupidity.
19. If you value your pastor more than your husband, something is wrong with you.
20. You call your Pastor DADDY, & calls your Husband PAPA AKPOS. You see your Life?
21. Learn to be grateful, no matter the situation & circumstance. Happy Sunday.
22. Just 3 days after we had unprotected sex, she told me she missed her period. How come, I thought it usually take 21 days for a baby to form?
23. Just think about this. Solomon had 700 Wives & 300 Concubines. That's 1,000 women in his Life. Yet he still remain the wisest Man ever. Are you thinking what I am thinking?
24. Modern Day Love: Sms', Audio Calls, Airtime, Voice Notes, Video calls, Chat. Name others.
25. I cannot like my own post. Says a man whose girlfriend is being *kpanshed by 5 Guys in the same hood. Like what you do/have.
26. Even Plagiarists (People who steal Posts) are claiming to be MEME Makers. Social Media is a terrible Place.
27. For like 5 months now she has not uploaded any picture. Saw her yesterday, she is pregnant. Does pregnancy stop Ladies from uploading photos?
28. If she says until you send me transport fair I will not come, leave her. She's not a wife material. She's just a girlfriend material.
29. Sex is not the only way to cheat. Name other ways people cheat.
30. Those who set their Profiles on Facebook to FRIENDS, what's actually their problem? You cannot like or comment on their posts, but they can like & comment on yours whose profile is on PUBLIC.
31. Love a woman. Understand a man. There after leave the rest to take their proper shape.
32. After so much make-up, You still look like a frog; an ugly substance will always be ugly.
33. It's not documented anywhere that only Guys should make the 1st move. Girl make him know how you feel towards him.
34. As a Lady, if you love your Man make him know it. He is not a prophet to know what's on your mind.
35. Those who post here & there 'I'm still a Virgin' what do you want us to tell you?
36. If you're looking for a way to insult Me, use the inbox. Must you come on my comment & insult me for a post you couldn't comprehend?
37. Since you two would be having sex together, both of you should plan, finance & execute your marriage together.
38. If a Lady cannot bring anything to the Table during marriage, leave her. Marriage is not meant to be one sided. For goodness sake you're changing her marital status from single to married. She should be able to bring something to the table cos you're equally taking her from single hood. You both should plan & finance the marriage. If she cannot raise anything to support you in the marriage financially, leave her for another person. If you don't, she would have it in her mind that the marriage is a Union where you would take care of Family, her needs etc singlehandedly.
As both of you would be having sex together, you two should be able to finance whatever you want together.
Stop that demonic personality called 'Feminism' in you. Males & Females are equal, no one is more than the other. Never glorify the rights of the females over that of the males in Life. They are both equal. Don't follow anyone or any concept trying to tell you to place more priority on one gender than the other. Males & Females are equal in the society.
39. Some insults are meant to catapult you to another level in Life.
40. The best revenge You can give to anybody is to work harder & make it real big.
41. I decided to cut a lot of Friends off the very day I rounded off my NYSC for reasons best known to me. So if you're my friend & You don't know where I stay, it's not my fault. If APC could adopt CHANGE mantra, who Am I?
42. Friends you hang out with have a way of influencing you whether you like it or not.
43. Where you reside have a way of affecting your Thinking. Believe it or not.
44. In some places in PortHarcourt, a year House Rent for 1 Room is what someone would pay for a 2 bedroom apartment somewhere in Warri.
45. Ladies were scared to get married to Ritualists back then. But, now many Ladies do push Men into rituals all for the raba (money).
46. Many guys on Facebook use the BIRTHDAY Notification to track Ladies down every day through airtime & money transfer.
47. If he gives you N1,000 to cook for him, squeeze the money & stone it to his Face. Says a girl whose Father has never dropped N200 for feeding for over 5 months now.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer & an online miscreant. Carving of memes usually baptised him with so much joy.

SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 57 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: January 09, 2019, 07:15:36 AM »
Top 57 Jokes, Quotes, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 57 Jokes, Quotes, Memes, Puns, Wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last 7 days.
1. If You DM your EX I can call You DMX.
2. Most of the People saying 'Marriage is not an achievement' are just suffering from inner hurts.
3. When I took the decision not to manage again was when I was not invited for a Family Meeting. I told myself I MUST MAKE IT.
4. I'm beginning to Think buying of SHARES is just a SCAM in Nigeria. 2005 (13) years now, no statement from the Company.
5. The way some persons steal posts still makes me wonder if it's only Buhari that's stupid in the World.
6. Ways You can REDUCE your physical FRIENDS & focus on your dreams in 2019.
1. Start training pigeons.
2. Change your curtains to Black & Read.
3. Change your Bedsheets to Black.
4. Speak loud to money before you give them out to them.
5. Use red handkerchief to wipe your windscreen & sit before you turn on your ignition.
6. Apply powder only to your forehead & speak very loud in an unknown language whenever they are around.
7. Use your phone to touch your forehead before you pick up any call in their presence.
👇COMMENT ways people can reduce their physical friends.
7. You said you're an Atheist, but when any Prayer is posted online You would be the 1st to comment AMEN.
8. Marriage is nothing. But it's the 1st thing on your 2019 Prayer Points. Liars on Social Media.
9. That little evil spirit telling you you're a STAR when you're not will build up PRIDE in You, & you might end up in misery & grief.
10. Which of this group is more stupid on Social Media? Atheists, Religionists, Feminists, Artist(e)s, Scientists, Gays, IPOBs, Wailers, Hailers
11. We just have a lot of stupid Nigerians on Facebook. Imagine someone complaining that someone liked over 20 of his posts & decided to block the person. What is that online Goat feeling like?
I have friends in Asia, Europe etc. that would even mention you & say 'Thank You' for just a single LIKE on their posts.
Why are most Nigerians so silly cos of a Platform that a Non-Nigerian launched into orbit?
Why are most Nigerians always claiming to be what they are not on Social Media?
Did you know most annoying things online are done by Nigerians?
In this 2019, If I see anyone claiming to be a Felebrity (Facebook Celebrity) & I run a check on him/her and realised that person got no group that is over 80,000 (80K) members I will BLOCK that GOAT alongside the boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, pastor, priest, teacher, lecturer, counsellor etc.
12. They said N30,000 was too much as a minimum wage, but Budget said Buhari's daily hair cut was N235,616. Sardonic Nation.
13. Nothing irritates me like an intelligent post with this last line 'Argue with your ignorance'. Intelligent posts are like debates, we must argue.
14. Make it a ritual to always make people happy each day.
15. Be useful to yourself. People invite you to like & join pages/groups, must You tell us? Put your Brain to work & think something to post.
16. Some persons are silly on Social Media. You flaunt her as your Girlfriend for 5 years on Facebook & dump her to marry another girl. Whoever would marry that Lady now will be seen as someone who got married to a second hand product.
PLEASE, stop this childish behavior on Facebook.
Another dude has been using this Sisi's photograph as his Profile picture on Facebook for 4 years now. I just noticed he put up a screenshot of their chats. Come here, Bro; when you two were busy making people like us jealous you were never aware that you were at the University Of Stupidity (UOS).
This Aunty can put up posts in praise of her Yahoo Boyfriend for Africa. Just yesterday, I saw that she has left the relationship with a very brutal post to the dude.
STOP destroying people's destinies all in the name of online flaunting here and there.
I'm not against anyone flaunting their relationship online, but be wise if you must...
Experience they say is a good Teacher.
END outrageous flaunt today.
17. The way Producers portray the Nigeria Police Force in movies, just wish they are that efficient...
18. You're married & still got a Bachelor. English is a silly language.
19. Music is stupid. A married man will release one track & they will call it SINGLE.
20. Now that he is still SINGLE you will not shoot your shots as a Lady. Thunder will blast you when you show him greenlight after he might have engaged someone.
21. Children at times are something else. They would save from January - December & end up using an entire saving for fireworks (knockouts).
22. How can I be angry & still have erection? Who is controlling my 3rd leg?
23. I'm not looking for a Virgin to marry. I don't have that time to be teaching somebody how to 'do the do'.
24. One Slay Queen did post a group photo with the caption 'Family Is Everything'. How come she ask her Boyfriend for almost everything?
25. If Robert Mugabe with over 3.1 Million Page LIKES could have 1,575 Likes & 56 Comments, who Am I with just 5K Friends & Few Followers? Facebook is full of Ghosts.
26. Careless tag is when you tag 98 persons in a post & receive less than 20 likes & 4 comments after 3 days.
27. At 21 you have committed 5 abortions already, are you allergic to condoms?
28. Welcome to Facebook where most plagiarists claim to be Philosophers with stolen quotes.
29. Welcome to Facebook where most People live fake lives.
30. Welcome to Facebook where most people can date for 2 years without getting to see before breakup.
31. Welcome to Facebook where most noisemakers don't make any amount of money on the platform.
32. Welcome to Facebook where a Slay Queen can upload over 5 pictures daily & nothing in her Brain to contribute in a relationship.
33. Welcome to Nigeria where an Army General cannot fight Boko Haram.
34. Welcome to Nigeria where the educated ones live in poverty & illiterates live in affluence.
35. Welcome to Nigeria where the Federal Government negotiates with terrorists & still claim to be fighting same terrorists.
36. Welcome to Nigeria where some Drivers don't have License, but those who don't know how to drive possessed Licenses.
37. Stutters cannot control their anger. A stupid Lie from the pit of hell. I know how to control my anger very well.
38. Where are those MMM Crusaders? I told you Thunder shall MUTE you all,  months ago & You felt I was a Prophet of Doom.
39. Who is more wicked? A girl that disappointed a guy for 5 times & didn't show up or a Guy that left the Girl in a Restaurant after eating like 8K on her final arrival which is the 6th time?
40. Some of us as Boyfriends are trying our best, cos Yahoo Boys have changed their mentalities.
41. Your pastor have 8,000 members in his Church (Headquarters & Branches). I have over 500,000 members in my Groups. He preach daily, I think & craft works to keep the groups updated each day. If he is called, I was called as well.
42. Some of us are more active in Groups than our Walls. Some groups are over 100K members, when Friends are just 5K.
43. You will not appreciate what brother JOB passed through in the Bible until you see a BOIL in your Armpit.
44. Just do your thing. No matter how good or bad you are online, some will still talk bad about you.
45. You said you cannot REACT on my Posts, who said You're not jealous of my progress?
46. If you realised that the so-called BRO IN CHRIST is her *Kpansher, what would you do?
47. If you LIKE what I do online, use the FOLLOW button on my Profile. I want to be getting your posts on my Timeline. Let's be closer.
48. No one should provoke me this year. Where is it written that I can't have Gospel song(s) on the background while I *Kpansh?
49. When a lecturer failed a dude who dated his girlfriend, they saw it as normal. But, when a dude did impregnate that VC's wife; he was said to be stupid. Education is not fair.
50. 3 months for lecture. 2 weeks for Exams. Education is not fair.
51. One lecturer will take less than 7 courses year in year out & expect you to pass over 65 courses for 4 years. Education is not fair.
52. A lecturer will lecture you for 3 months & expect you to answer 3 months questions in 2 hours. Education is not fair.
53. Bring on the ugliness in Me as long as my Bank Accounts are loaded. Who get paid by handsomeness?
54. What is the CRIME of those who used part(s) of their Bodies for Money Rituals?
55. People who speak the raw/naked Truth hardly get the desired Likes & Comments.
56. You're with your Wife & you're thinking about a side chick, do you love Chicken that much?
57. An erect manhood is an illiterate, it has no conscience. BISHOP (OKON) UMOH. Who said an illiterates don't have a conscience?
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, literatus, freelancer & an online miscreant.

« on: January 04, 2019, 08:03:40 AM »

Life as I always believe, is a book of two pages with numerous chapters. Call this book of life; the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, happiness and sadness, love and hatred, joy and depression and if you wish, you can call it the book of white and black, and you are not wrong. Life is never a cup filled of tea of joy; no. Even sometimes, the hotness of tea could set your tongue ablaze. What do you now talk of life that has this side and the other.

Being that wherever anything lives, it tastes the smack of its environ, we (human beings)  taste the smack of life because we live it and we live in it. The two pages of life, joy and depression is something we must always go through whether we like it or not, because no human can live a full joyful life. Sometimes, you dine in joy and sometimes, feel the weirdness of depression.

It's also veritable that the latter page of life which is depression is not wished by any man despite the fact that it remains unavoidable, and it gets one crazy when it hits the peak. But, I mean (but) is the worst of all depression (SUICIDE) really the answer to the problem as it is mostly now preferred by the depressed!

I understand that it's not an easy thing to get depressed. I understand the fact that nobody really wishes to be hated, the fact that everybody wants to be loved. I understand how you try to please your friends to love you but to no avail, how you battle with your parents sometimes to understand and stop hating you, how you swear by God over and over in front of your siblings who never listen to you for this same understanding. And when all these happen, I understand how you weep, how you cry alone, hug your arms and weep tears on your shivering and quivering feet, how your lips tremble when you ask yourself what crime you have committed and I understand how you stay awake in all night feelling this loneliness. But, is suicide really an option!


I understand what you have gone through and how depressed you have become. But believe me, suicide is the worst of all depression and it's never any sort of remedy or an option; and you want to get yourself depressed with the worst of all depression!

First thing to do when you get so much depressed is to leave away from whoever or whatever depresses you. You can go to a far place very quiet. You can also talk to a few friends of yours that really care about you, ask for advice and seek for help.

 Secondly, you have a reason to live and you have a thousands of them. Think about your dreams, what you want to achieve and how you can do so to prove your depressors wrong. May be they think you can't survive without them. There is that thing that you have always want to achieve in life, look at how far you have gone and how gradually you are becoming an achiever. Have a mental picture of how your life will be glamorous with that dream and say no to your depressors. Remember, there are promises you haven't fulfilled too: that of your lovely parents, your friends, your little siblings and probably your little children who don't even know the way to go with tears.

Finally, pull up yourself and do what you love doing. If writing is your hobby, grab a pen and a book and wash away your depression via. If you love to sing, sing and continue to sing your sorrows out. If you love reading, read inspirational books, keeping it at the back of your mind that you will find a healing sentence or statement.

But Suicide, never an option!


Just like a backbone is to the body, parents are supposed to be supports to the child(ren). The world today is becoming more and more rude, parents are becoming selfish and the love for children is gradually fading. A father or a mother should be a sky that hides its stars when the cloud heaves dark for rain. As a parent, you should always care about the feelings of your child. Listen to them, understand their reasons for every action and let them feel free when they are with you. If you are not the depression, Know that which deprsses them and be a remedy.

The family/members should be a house one runs to when the rain falls heavy; big enough to cover from being drenched or soaked. Family members: brothers, sisters and others should be solutions to depression. Help in every way possible to save him/her when you know he/she is in trouble. That way, we feel loved.


The true definition of friendship is care and love. Your friends are your lovers and they need care more than anything you could think of. Don't always wait for them to to say what they are going through before you act. If you care for your friend, you will know when he or she is depressed. One good or bad word/act can cause more harm or good than expected. So be vigillant, love and care much.


SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 39 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: January 02, 2019, 07:04:15 AM »
Top 39 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
This is a collection of 39 memes, quotes, jokes, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the passed 7 days.
1. At times I begin to wonder if some Ladies like anything original. Fake pupils, fake nails, heels, brow etc.
2. Thunder prepare to rape any Lady that would give Me greenlight after I might have engaged anyone.
3. I have 6,317 persons in my Contact. So why should I bother about 1/2 who would always say 'Call Me Back'?
4. An erect manhood is an illiterate, it has no conscience. BISHOP (OKON) UMOH. But permit me to add, an erect manhood is like a little baby; it does not understand explanation.
5. Even Numbskulls do come online to tell you that they are intelligent.
6. If there is no LAW to punish Ladies that rape/sexually assault men in Nigeria, then Lawyers are one sided.
7. Buying of Air Freshener ONLY when she wants to visit should end this year.
8. Some persons can brag for Africa. I overheard someone 'No one can hack my Facebook Account'. My Dear, don't be a ridiculous goat on Social Media. People hack well developed websites with a lot of fireworks not to mention just an ordinary Facebook Account.
9. Before you castigate anyone, make sure you're flawless. Bitter Truth, no one is flawless.
10. That habit of shaving ONLY when you want to visit him should end this year.
11. Believe it or not, some persons are poorer than they appear on Social Media. Others are richer in the physical World than they appear online.
12. African Ladies see it as a crime to take Men out.
13. Ladies Should Know We Need To Be Loved as well.
14. Poverty is a bastard! You have never in your Life gotten a book worth N2000, but your 1st book goes for N7000. Ask around to know that when it's not your time you can put the book for N50,000 per copy & still remain poor.
15. You don't expect me to call the following individuals:
A. Those who cannot control their anger.
B. Call me back clicks.
16. That silly habit of going to Church to fart should end this Year.
17. Whatever they sent you via inbox must come on your Timeline. Dear, try buy N30 SENSE.
18. Say something to Buhari:
A. I blessed the day he came to this Earth.
B. I cursed the day he came to this world.
19. Women are bad. Words from a man who has been married to his wife for 25 years. Don't fool me, Old Man.
20. Have you come across those Idiots who only comment on your posts when they disagree? They want to claim Solomon of Africa.
21. If looking good is good Business, why do SlayQueens still work?
22. No matter how popular you are, if I have given you several likes & comments & you refused to reciprocate; I will just UNFRIEND You. I don't give a fuck.
23. To all the foolish plagiarists on Facebook, stealing of posts should end this year.
24. That silly question 'You don *kpansh her?' should end this year.
25. Welcome to Facebook where CEO of over 7 Businesses is still under the parents. They feed & recharge for him/her.
26. Why do the Igbos love the Catholic Church with passion?
27. Why do Calabar ethnic group in Nigeria love Reggae Music with passion?
28. Whenever I see a 75 year old man who married an 18 year old girl I do think Young Men below 35 years are stupid. Why allow a papa to overtake you?
29. A man remains a Boy until he is married. Does it mean Catholic Priests are Boys?
30. Don't fool yourself for someone who is not yours. The more you force your way into their lives, the more stupid you become.
31. Don't use any ugly experience of your Ex on your current partner. Forget about it entirely if U must enjoy Peace of Mind.
32. If you have 5,000 Friends with like 10,000 Followers with no active group or page with over 50,000 members, you're not a Celebrity.
33. BOY: You're beautiful.
GIRL: Stop this nonsense. I'm the ugliest in my Family.
BOY: Low Self Esteem Kill You!
34. Which Social Network do you spend most of your Time?
35. Most people on social media are actually the opposite of what they stand for.
36. For 7 years you both have exchanged over 1,000 SMS' & countless calls as online Friends. Just 3 days with her, you're already tired. My Dear, online is different from offline presence.
37. Most Quiet People online are actually Lions in the Physical World.
38. Most poor Ladies pretend a lot.
39. Most poor Men despite their abject poverty cannot stick to one partner.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer, creator of memes & an online miscreant.

SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 51 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: December 26, 2018, 08:57:51 AM »
Top 51 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 51 memes, quotes, wisdom as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last 7 days.
1. Merry Christmas to you all, on behalf of my future Wife & Children. If you're hurt, hug a Transformer.
2. The stupidity of picking your Boyfriend/Girlfriend call should END this Year.
3. Merry Christmas to everyone on my Friend List. Whether You're celebrating it or not is irrelevant. Cheers.
4. When an Author publishes a Book with the intention to leave poverty by making the book so expensive, he sink more into misery.
5. So no Activist to fight for Chickens, Cows, Turkeys, Goats this season?
6. Ladies, that habit of not making the move(s) first should END in 2018.
7. You insulted your Landlord on Facebook weeks ago. Now, you have gone to beg him with  4 of your friends.
8. Some of these kids on Facebook causing nuisance should be talked to by online miscreant like us.
9. The strength of a man in bed does not determine how his marriage would last.
10. Christmas Time, just a 'missed call' can end a relationship of 10 months.
11. Without Money, Sex & Children; Marriage would be meaningless. Argue with your Ancestors.
12. You have relocated 4 times in less than 6 months. Are your Village People after You?
13. I have seen it almost ALL on Facebook. Someone just complained that someone was too active on his wall cos the person LIKED 30 of his Posts.
Facebook is loaded with *mumubrities, *yeyebrities etc. masquerading as celebrities.
Must you say everything?
If you're not active on their Timeline, they would complain.
You're active, they would complain.
Stupid Son of a Bitch (SSOB).
14. Your Dad didn't marry your Mum. You have given birth to 4 Kids via cohabitation. You still talk about People who got married with less than 500K. Just SHUT the fuck UP!
15. Ladies, Shedding tears during Engagements should END in 2018.
16. Most People you feel are humble now are just swimming in the ocean of poverty. When they hit Money You would know their true colours.
17. After you used her photograph as your profile picture for 4 years, she is now married to someone else. Useless Son of a Responsible Father.
18. How about we get that your business, advert, post, event etc. across to over 11 Pages & over 12 Groups on Facebook? Hit me on +2348063562857.
19. You don't need a degree in Philosophy to be wise.
20. You planned to see her Pastor soonest. Unexpectedly, he came to you 1st & collected your number. All things must work together for you.
21. You people can complain on Social Media. People go down on their knees for proposers, I might do down with my 2 knees to propose to Her.
22. Your Pastor got the biggest stomach, best cars, his Children are studying abroad. Yours is almost his opposite. SMH.
23. You saved his number as 'My HeartBeat' the day he leaves You, 6feet would welcome you. FOOL!
24. I must go to my Village for You! A Calabar Man boasted.
25. Drop your absurd Christmas wish.
Me: Who would give me a Lion as Christmas Gift?
26. Some persons supporting Buhari cannot even allow him to be the CSO of their Compounds.
27. Don't kill yourself over anything on Social Media. Some buy likes, comments, views, shares etc.
28. People who use 'What do I know?' are Gossips.
29. In Primary 2, I found over 13 strand of grey hairs on my head with over 5 of them on my Eye brow. Some called me papa for it.
30. Did you know that LINDA IKEJI still bears her Surname? Why are people bothering about someone that is not married that much?
31. You must be an online GOAT to scream at the top of your voice on Social Media cos someone is advising You.
32. I know I can be whatever I want to be here in Nigeria. But, dare not discourage me from leaving the shores of this Country.
33. Did you know if ENGAGEMENT is by tagging & asking the person 'Will You Marry Me?' Many Ladies will remain singles for their entire Existence?
They got over 14 Boyfriends on Facebook alone and they cannot probably say 'Yes'.
34. Must you talk about only Buhari & Atiku on your wall? Don't be a ridiculous GOAT on Social Media. Spread your tentacles.
35. Things that usually go VIRAL on Facebook

Successful completion of: NYSC, Master's or  Ph.D.
Lose of Loved ones.
Please, ADD to the LIST.
36. Some people on Facebook can blackmail for Africa!
Some time ago, a young man was struggling to make it out of the shores of the country and one Facebooker I know of very well blackmailed the young man, just because he was seeking for help from his Facebook Friends. He lost like 4,000 Friends and over 3,000 Followers. But, I refused to unfriend the dude when she started sharing the rubbish about the young man. I confronted the dude via inbox and he told me the whole truth. I said to the wicked Aunty, 'this is the 3rd person you have blackmailed that I know of on Facebook; if you don't take time I would frustrate your existence.'
With the speed of light, the ugly creature BLOCKED me.
For over 5 months now, the dude has been updating several pictures with a bunch of white folks on Facebook as he is facing his studies abroad.
Please, STOP spreading fake rumours just to tarnish people's image.
PS: The ugly creature has unblocked me. She sent in a request and I did inbox her 'I don't have your foolish time'.
37. If the totality of the LIKES you have gotten on Facebook from JAN till date is over 20,000 & You have not made at least 20K from Facebook, You should consult People earning from Facebook.
38. To the Photographer & Videographer for my marriage. If you give me a bad Job, you would spend 30 days behind bars.
39. LAST step before you UNFRIEND anyone who claims to be a Facebook Celebrity who ignores you on his/her LIST.
How to know those who claim to be celebrities on Facebook before you UNFRIEND them. Give them 50 Notifications. Once they don't give you even 1, Unfriend their ASS for others to take their place.
40. Politics got nothing to do with quality education, that's why the Numbskull Buhari is still with the mantle.
41. What are the right words to use when you want to put an Engagement Ring on Her Finger?
42. Why we cannot tell the first Nigerian on Facebook, he/she might have used a white profile.
43. What are you grateful for?
I'm grateful for my Brain, future Wife & Unborn Children.
44. Those Parents who sent their Children to very expensive Schools & still register for special centers for them, what's their problem?
45. No matter how terrible a man/woman is, he/she must have supporters. Don't blame Buhari & Mbaka supporters.
46. Those who support Buhari & Mbaka, where are your mental faculties located?
47. All inactive Friends on my List MUST leave before 2019. The task is herculean, but I'm on it.
48. I LOVE Nollywood Movies. You can argue with your Ex.
49. At a time I felt some of these silent icons were motivation, until recently when my Muse took a proper analysis of them.
The likes of the *yeyebrities on Facebook who felt they are celebrities that cannot REACT on posts. You're being flush down the drain with no remorse.
To those Facebook Friends who felt hitting the LIKE, SHARE, COMMENT buttons is a crime; You would leave my List before 2019.
To those ones who felt I should be the only one reacting on their Posts, sorry; you're leaving the list.
Over 1,000 (1K) REMOVED already. You just have to give space for others to come in. Stop being a monitoring spirit on my list.
No pomposity intended, Facebook is one platform I derive joy every now and then. 9 years plus now on the platform is something to write home about. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly on Social Media. I'm grateful I have good friends on this platform.
50. My POSTs are not one side. Take it or leave it.
51. If you denied a pregnancy that's yours as a man, You're worse than Buhari.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer, literatus & an online miscreant.

SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 33 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: December 12, 2018, 07:33:51 AM »
Top 33 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
A collection of 33 hilarious lines, memes, quotes, wisdom & stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last 7 days.
1. 8 Children for 7 Men. What's actually your Problem?
2. I don't understand the kind of Feminists we have on Facebook. A 45 year old man with a 17 year old girl *kpanshing was taken to another level.
It's now a 31 year old Lady with a 14 year old boy, & no one is talking. Are they one sided or what?
3. Muhammadu Buhari CV: Lost 2003, 2007, 2011 general Elections. Won 2014 Election. Lost 2019 Election.
4. I don't understand. How can one Lady commit 8 abortions for one Guy?
5. After 6 abortions for your ex, you still have the boldness to ask your Boyfriend 'Where is this relationship leading?'
6. Some persons just love to suffer in Life. You have completed your NYSC 4 years ago & your profile picture is still your NYSC kit.
7. GIRL: You must buy me an iPhone this Christmas.
BOY: Is it your birthday or Jesus' birthday? THIEF.
8. Christmas is Christ's Birthday. Buy her anything you wish. & if she rejects it, hand her over to Christ. Don't kill yourself over another person's birthday.
9. Those who take rice to their parents only at this period, does it mean they eat once in a year?
10. After 8 abortions for your Ex, You're still talking about Bride Price. You're sick in the head.
11. Repeat after me "May my Boyfriend not get *kpanshed this period by his village Girlfriend"
12. Say this after me "May my Girlfriend not get *kpanshed this period by her village Boyfriend"
13. Don't underrate anyone cos of where they stay. Some Village Guys would *Kpansh your Girlfriends this period like mad.
14. After some Guys might have insulted Village Girls, they would still travel for the festive period to *Kpansh Village Girls.
15. I like the way some Village Boys *Kpansh some of these Slay Queens this time of the year. Skin to Skin.
16. Soon, some Slay Queens would travel to the Villages to showoff what they don't have (Wigs, Mascara) etc.
17. Slay Queens will go & *kpansh those they insult almost everyday (Village People) soon.
18. From December 29, We shall know those who are in the Villages. Facebook would be a little bit silent.
19. Without Christmas & New Year, some persons will never visit their hometowns. SMH.
20. Christmas & New Year: Most wonderful time of the year. Only when some people go & *kpansh their Village Lovers.
21. Those who add MHIZ, ITZ etc to their Names on Facebook are always below 30 years.
22. 3 Reasons I can marry You: Genotype AA, Blood Group O+, Handsome with good Character.
23. Why should I earn your RESPECT when you talk carelessly to your Parents?
24. How can you sleep from 9pm - 9a.m & say you're waiting for God's Time? Be useful to yourself & family.
25. You cannot have more than 5,000 Friends on Facebook. Followers are countless. But, remember followers don't see your posts like your Friends.
There are groups with over 100,000 (100K) membership. Why don't you negotiate with an Admin to make you a Moderator for a specific period of time to get your business, post, advert, event, promo etc to a larger audience instead of dying in silence? You spend to get/make fame & fortune, believe it or not. If you want to be a Moderator to market your business, sell your product, publicize anything etc to a larger audience? Sms/call: +2348063562857.
26. Always coming to your Boyfriend's house to pack his Foodstuffs is a sign of what?
27. Wikipedia now have Numbskulls as Editors & Administrators.
28. If some Ladies have 500K in their Accounts You would know from their Posts. SMH.
29. If Buhari & Goodluck are to be your Destiny, which would you choose?
30. Everyone cannot be WISE. After all People still prefer Buhari the Numbskull to Goodluck.
31. Less than 6 months of your Marriage, 5 of your siblings are already in your matrimonial home. What's your problem?
32. At 16 years, she can go out & come back anytime. What kind of Parents are we producing in Africa?
33. There are mentions you would see on your Notification, you will know this person don't mention carelessly. While there are other mentions you see, you just Shake Your Head as usual cos they can never REPLY to your Comment without a Mention.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, literatus & an online miscreant.

Fictions / BROWN CHRISTMASS by Stanley Obum Ezechukwu 
« on: December 07, 2018, 07:37:07 AM »
BROWN CHRISTMASS by Stanley Obum Ezechukwu 

As I watch the CNN correspondent, the massive heap of snow at her surrounding strikes me. It’s ‘white’ Christmas in Europe. But I feel for them; they are missing the taste of real Christmas. Nothing is white in Nigeria save the bright morning fog that impairs your vision and dry skin that lost its cream and scratched in despair.

Driving on the undulating dusty brown road that leads to our hometown. There is a nostalgic scent of dust and a dry crisp warm air, difficult to inhale. There are the once green leaves that have turned reddish-brown and many starved of water, fallen to death.  Dad will murmur; ‘bad roads... hell dusty. It seems it’s always half graded every December. Guile village chiefs!’

My grand ma will hug me and exclaim how big I have grown, calling me Ebuka- my brother's name. I find no reason to correct her the third time. We have learned to answer for anyone as mother said; ‘They no need know you by names. You know some of them are no good'. That night as we sit out under the moon light, so brightly azure that my dad reads his bible and mum, her fashion magazine while Ebuka and I stare above the sky and wondered; ‘how is it Lagos don’t have moon?’ I know more fascination are to yet to come bit by bit. Especially from Christmas day, tomorrow.

‘1...2...3..’ I counted before pouring the first cup of water on my body with a shriek. The water though warm, the cold was overwhelming, chilling and clinks my teeth. But at noon, the wether becomes not too cool with the sun shining and desert wind mitigating its hotness. Mum insists on 5:30am mass so she can prepare and serve the streams of visitors afterwards. Who doesn’t eat at Dr. Mmadu’s house every Christmas. It’s not just the food but presents of ‘abada'- wrappers, schnapps, and so on. More fascinating it is, as young children troops in in threes, fours as their mother has given birth to, for ‘igba nkiri'. They show off there new dresses while dad hands 50 naira notes to each. I remember Ebuka dressed me up last year for this same noble act of children but dad rebuffed; ‘It's done in those days when pathway is led under a breadfruit tree. Oya go in and pull off!’. I still wonder; ‘we have no breadfruit tree, where does the pathway lead for these children?’.

‘I quite understand mum cooking with firewood, but am lost trying to figure out why she is using yam as firewood. Are we that rich?’ Ebuka is thrown off by my question.  He laughs and said; ‘mum is cooking the yam’. I am yet to grab all these but I alluded during dinner that no yam had tasted better as this burnt but white yam. 

More fascinating is the masquerades. Nkechi-my cousin knows the sound of the metal gong. She signals at us when the masquerades are to come out. ‘3pm. Yes it's about time.’ she says. I will visit the toilet by a sudden rush in my stomach. It happens every time, I can’t explain but I know I have to excrete. Dad will skin us alive if we dare step out to watch masquerades. He speaks of culture and tradition with pride but masquerades with disdain. Every time I think; ‘what is culture without masquerade? Does he not contradict himself?'. So my curiosity heightens when dad and mum drove out for the church bazaar.

 We all stand at the gate jeering at the masquerades,  who darts at us in quick race. But it’s held at the entrance by a locked gate. It’s a rule. They mustn't break in a locked gate. Meanwhile, the dreaded ‘otokoro' who is regarded as the father of other masquerades comes out last accompanied by others. We were told never to point at it nor look directly at it else your hand becomes stiff or you are blinded respectively. It’s coming out buoys the smaller ones. They becomes aggressive and dance shakara dance. We stoop at the gate, peeping through any available hole for a glimpse. The otokoro,  very tall with fresh Palm leaves all over it, no visible hands nor eyes, matches in splendour and in dread. Nobody is seen in sight save the elderly men who pays homage by dropping money either inside it’s pouch or on the ground.

Afterwards, we will straggle behind them at some distance with a leg in front and the other behind set for a race. I don't  realise how far we had gone until dusk descended. The roads are unfamiliar and strange with many diversions of pathways, you can't easily tell which you came from. Our cousin trod hastily and swerved left to right and vice versa through the pathways. She is our eyes now and we follow swiftly and quietly.  ‘shhh. You hear that? Like oyo'.  Nkechi hushed to listen.

In a whiff of breath, we began running. My heels hitting my buttocks. I don't look back but the sounds of oyo behind assures me to keep it up. It stopped, the sound stopped and I halt. I don’t see Ebuka nor Nkechi. I don't know where I am. I think am lost.

My eyes  mist, am  weary, am barefooted and am afraid. A dark lanky figure looms and I try to see if it were a human. Assured it were, I walk to it. ‘Nwa Mmadu, is that you? Ahh what are you doing there by this time?’ The tall lanky elder who I haven’t seen at home for once, queried. He leads me to our compound where my dad and mum and uncle were standing with a lamp ready to launch a search. He greets my Dad and turns to leave before my Dad said; ‘Daalu.’-Thank you. Later, I was told he is my dad's bitterest enemy. They fought for a land and my Dad won. He swore never to find his body in my dad's compound. But am told ‘children were sacred vessels of the land for they are next to offer prayers to our ancestors. Harm any, and incur the wrath of the ancestors’; is the only motive to his kind gesture. And I thought; ‘is dad unaware of this? For I cried out my voice that night until the moon is overcast and begins to retire with somewhat satisfaction for a job well done.’

My brown Christmas counts in dates and not days, no visible decorations save in church, everyone is a family, ceremonies occupy every day save burials and the kids of the wealthy becomes king of the village kids. We talk about the Santa Claus we see in movies; they talk about ‘fada krismas' they hear people talk of.

 I don’t like new year eve. It reminds me of one thing, end of Christmas. The clock starts ticking from 1st to 3rd. It doesn’t exceed 3rd  and I will find myself driving through same road but in a reverse direction to the main city road. I try to mark with my eyes some trees and leaves that have survived year to year. I know what they are saying as the swerved left to right in their brown dignity; ‘Bye for now, we shall see again, we shall be here, we shall live for the rains will soon come and life will be restored. We will become green again until the next brown Christmas.’

Stanley Obum Ezechukwu 

SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 80 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: December 05, 2018, 07:43:47 AM »
Top 80 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 80 hilarious lines, quotes, memes, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE in the last 7 days.
1. Some of you are very stupid. How dare you sleep with 2 Ladies & their Mother?
2. If PHONES were to be BOOBS, some phones would have been flatter than CDs.
3. TIME for some silly sayings/proverbs. ME: No matter the darkness, the vagina will receive the soft rod during coitus with or without light.
4. Being an online GOAT doesn't mean you're controversial.
5. Don't kill yourself over Social Media. Some Posts will not just go far, no matter the wisdom or stupidity therein.
6. Short People are intelligent. Argue with your EX.
7. If after 1 week of marriage, she still bears Her Father's name in real life & on social media; Dear Brother You just boarded a bad vehicle.
8. One Day I would change her surname to ERUEMUARE. With or without your permission.
9. POLITICIANS think going to Rev Fr Mbaka's Adoration Ministry is a sure way to winning elections. SMH.
10. We have the likes of Femi Fani-Kayode & Reno Omokri in PDP. Who can ink with boldness in APC?
11. One COW just said there is a Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) in North East. SMH.
12. What would a Guy value most from here: Give him sex, Introduce him to your parents, Tell her pastor about him?
13. What would a Lady value the most here: Airtime, wash her panties, introduce her to your Family?
14. Everyone is CHEAP on Earth. Even the world's richest man is begging one small Girl to sleep with him.
15. When You BLOCK People, they would feel you don't exist. UNFRIEND them so that they can see your Progress.
16. Ben Murray Bruce makes more commonsense on Radio, Tv & on Social Media than in Real Life. TRUE or FALSE?
17. What is Archbishop Augustine Obiora Akubeze & the entire Catholic Bishops' Conference of Nigeria (CBCN) doing about Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka? Should he be taken to a Psychiatric Home before they call him to order?
18. Young Men, don't be STUPID. Why meet her People & Friends when you know you're not ready for Marriage?
19. How would You feel if I get your business, post, advertisement, event etc across to over 110,000 (110K) persons for 28 Days on a Group? Inbox me via +2348063562857.
20. Now that your Pastor has BLOCKED Me on Facebook, WhatsApp & Calls/SMS, hope when I will hold him in his Church in Warri for being indebted to me for over a year now; You will not insult me?
21. In Life, there is a popular taste at a given time. Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend today might be your EX tomorrow.
22. Nothing lasts Forever. BLACKBERRY is no more in vogue. So will iPhone soon.
23. Only one Lady, 18 Boyfriends online & 5 in Real Life. Are you okay at all?
24. STUPID online hype! You have destroyed my 3 expensive materials. Nonsense Fashion Designer You are.
25. Sanitize your mouth very well before You say anything to me in the morning. I hate rubbish.😛
26. If a post praises Buhari or APC, & You see my LIKE on it; I'm definitely reacting cos of good use of language. I cannot like anything Buhari or APC.
27. 57 Friends REMOVED after hours of checking the LIST. They were too dormant/inactive. 57 persons cannot be obstructing my views.
28. She would value when you wash her panties surprisedly than when you buy airtime for her.
29. You're not educated, no good character, you can't control your anger & from a very poor Family. 4-in-1 Problems.😎
30. We should use Social Media effectively. I will start from this Group. Someone is indebted to me. If he doesn't pay up by 10th of this month I will mentioned his name. He is a Pastor & Journalist. It is over a year now & I'm tired of calling him & sending him text messages. He has BLOCKED Me on Facebook.
And if he leaves the group before that 10th, I might traveled from PortHarcourt to visit him in Warri or in Abraka.

N.B: When I would visit him, he might spend times 50 of that peanut he owes me.
31. After you might have gone to Ogoni, Ijebu-Ode, India etc to get your POWERS, You now opened a Church. SMH.
32. Fake Pastors & Yahoo + Boys/Girls are the same.
33. You must be a BEAST for you to open your LEGS for your Sister's Husband. & You must be a DOG as a Man to do that.
34. With or without a Marriage Course, You can still marry the right person. Don't fool yourself.
35. The Goat that has the boldness to go to the Jungle to test the patience of the Lion will forever regret it.
36. Will You deactivate your Facebook account for N250,000?
37. DAYS People do the highest PLAGIARISM (copy & paste) on Social Media: Day 1 of every New Month, Christmas, Easter & New Year.
38. BLAME Your Mother or GRANDMA who couldn't bath you very well at birth. That's the cause of your offensive body odour.
39. We are not meant to understand everything. Else, all of us would have become 1st Class Graduates.
40. Why I cannot post some LIES on Facebook. Over 1,000 persons know me very well in real Life.
41. Let's know some of your bad HABITs. ME: I operate my Phone while eating.
42. Happy New Month to us all. Some have started thinking of New Year Resolution. Use your Head.
43. No matter who you are, you cannot insult me & go free. I MUST give you double.😁
44. Sometime ago I met a Lady who wanted to kill me before my time. Today I have wiped everything about her from my existence. No person worth stressing your existence.
45. Who is qualified to be called a Felebrity (Facebook Celebrity)?
A. Someone with 5,000 friends and a lot of followers with no group and page.
B. Someone with 5,000 friends and a lot of followers with his groups & pages over 500,000 members.
46. No future with BUHARI & APC!
47. LADIES, now that I'm still SINGLE You will not give me GREENLIGHT; If you near me after I engaged anyone I will INSULT You.😛
48. I can be STUPID at times. That's my MUSE for You.😂
49. You did smile cos You have had your last menstruation for the year.😁 Come let me get you pregnant & forget the pain for the next 9 months.
50. If dressing almost NUDE is civilization, then mad People are more civilised compared to some of our Ladies.😁 •Inspired by Friday O. Eruemuare.
51. What are those things anyone cannot stop you from doing? ME: Insulting Buhari.😆
52. WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS YOU DO SECRETLY? ME: Watching of Blue Movie(s).😜
53. Before you insult People of not being ACTIVE, know that some persons use TECNO T312 & it takes over 50 seconds just to LIKE a single post with it.
54. GIRL: How's PortHarcourt today?
BOY: Terrible. Buhari has destroyed everything.🤣
55. You had sexual intercourse with her 2 days ago. Today you heard she died 4 months ago. Confirmation from the Parents.😛
56. Is either KANU or APC is STUPID!

We cannot continue to live in a society that spread propaganda like mat online and offline.

If You say Jibril Aminu is Buhari, tell us where Jibril house is located in Sudan. Bring his photos & family photos. Moreover, APC can bring the real Jibril from Sudan and clear the ice. Sudanese government should make things clearer on their part, to avoid KANU and APC pouring their stupidities on them.

Sometime ago, NNAMDI KANU did  tweet
👉 “My heart goes out to the family of Habibu Almu the diplomat brutally murdered in Sudan over his involvement in the recruitment of Jubril the impostor.
“He’s gone but truth cannot be killed. Sudanese police/Interpol must uncover who in Aso Rock did this & bring them to justice.”

 Buhari's DNA should be released. The purported cap should be removed. That ear should be analysed. Everything should be done diplomatically & scientifically. We want to know who is the Liar here: APC or KANU. Let's clear the air. Let's be reasonable & stop this childish propaganda on Social Media.

I cannot believe this idiotic idea that Buhari was cloned in London. But, APC should clear the air before 2019 Elections.
57. Both of you left each other months ago. She paid you a visit yesterday & both of you *kpanshed. 5 hours later you heard she died 2 weeks ago. Called her number switched off. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
58. People hardly take you seriously on Social Media.😎
59. I'm happy this Atheism is only on Social Media. Else, some atheists would have produced Silly Movies in Hollywood & Nollywood to mock God.😎
60. If you know you're not beautiful or handsome, upload your photos once in a while like me. Stop disturbing my Timeline with photos like chimpanzee.
61. Whether you spent N10,000,000 or N500,000, marriage is marriage. Don't fool yourself.
62. Sitting at the back of a BUS doesn't mean you're a BOSS.😜
63. 3 years ago he insulted because I did not support Buhari. Today, BOTH of us are sending bitter words to Buhari camp.😂
64. APC & BUHARI: Praise stupidity & mediocrity.😳
65. She does not post anything, but BUSY asking people for recharge cards via INBOX.😎
66. This is Nigeria: We praise stupidity & mediocrity.
67. If I cannot make you smile or make you shake your head with my MEMES then no soul on earth can make you smile.
68. Those who love the withdrawal system are the major cause of STDs.🤣
69. If my MEMES cannot make You smile or shake your head, your problem is bigger than Africa Land mass.
OKON: I watch comedy.
YEMI: I watch blue movie.
AKPOS: I read newspaper.
AHMED: I flog my cows.
ANYANWU: I cook vegetables.
JAMES: I take ice cream.
WESLEY: I leak my woman's plate with my tongue.
KENDRICK: I play with my pet (Python).
You as a reader, what do you do when you're angry?
71. Did you know Buhari is the twenty-third child of his father?
You wonder why his Government is like this?
72. Zulaihat (Buhari's Mother) is the most wicked woman on Earth. She should have flushed Buhari away.
73. Guinness World Record should note this. The most wicked Man on Earth is Hardo Adamu (Buhari's Father). He should have pulled out.
74. I HATE ungrateful People. I ejaculate inside of You, You cannot even tell Me THANK YOU. You will grow with my SPERM You know that.😜
75. Whether You LIKE or HATE Me now is not my problem, it cannot stop me from my PROGRESS.
76. The showoff of Ladies now is terrible. After I engaged my Choice let me see anyone that would give me greenlight. I will just give you RED Card.
77. UNFRIEND button is better. BLOCK will make them think You don't exist again. Unfriend them so that they can see your Progress & Uploads.
78. I just LOVE the following WARRI (Delta) Brothers of mine: DON JAZZY,  EFE, ERIGGA, YUNG6IX, VICTOR AD. One day I know someone would Love Me.
79. You did not make your Bed before you left the House, but you have like 1 hour to be online. Rubbish.😁
80. To know if a girl is beautiful, wake her up at 3.30a.m.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger & literatus.

Essays / Ugly Bougainvillea (F O Eheri)
« on: December 03, 2018, 08:51:16 AM »
Ugly Bougainvillea (F O Eheri)

Baliwe had instinctively sensed her fear as did her five-month-old baby. Like a cinophile, she fixed her gaze on the seams of her house window, trying hard to see what was happening outside. It was relatively dark. The massive chandelier whose glint strained through the seams had been put off. What about the electric bulb in her room? It was really unusual for someone to walk into her room and put off the light from the electric bulb. So, she deemed it a strange moment. She made a sudden dash for the verandah, leaving little Fega on the sofa – she wanted to know what happened. Who left her door ajar. Standing on the verandah for a little while, she made to walk back daintily to her room, out of fear. Fega had already woken up with a jump, almost bursting into cry. His mother crooned a lullaby in Qunu accent [her mother tongue]. He soon fell asleep, and so did Baliwe.
   She felt a touch, rough and squeezy. The touch on her lithe body, she knew it, was not as smooth and warm as that of Doro, her man. It’s been a little while though, she did not forget the sweet caressing of her man. That charming touch. But later on, she felt randy and decided to splay out her legs. Her fluffy jumper was raised up; the cups of her bra were left shifted, and then she felt that leathery touch on her n*pples again. A touch from tubby fingers. Her baby burst into cry – he could barely breathe. The strange man’s tweed-polo-neck shirt and pair of trousers were strewed on his face. As of now, Baliwe’s screams, as if the real deed were on, rent the heart of the man. She was beginning to moan. The echo of her moaning contained Doro. Her voice was full of emotions; it was almost turning into a real humdinger of a game. But every bar and beat of her moaning died down as soon as she heard the innocent voice of her baby. And now she knew it was just a starry-eyed romance. The debauched man had run away. He did not make love to her though, she was downright pained to have realised that it was someone other than her man smooching her. Her mental picture helped her keep track with the man in question – it was Rioke, her brother-in-law.
   Why this? Why’s he taking unnecessary advantage of his brother’s absence? This broken reed… she thought. Rioke had, on several occasions, tried to make advance to her but that was the least of all things Baliwe could do. In all his lies – Doro was reported dead in an auto crash… – all in a bid to wooing her – nothing seemed to catch ice with her. She did hear from Doro through Amina, Doro’s ex-girlfriend and course mate at Berkeley University of California where he studied Medicine, and Baliwe Theatre, Dance and Performance Studies. The last letter she received from Doro contained romantic strings of his poem and when he would be coming to Nigeria. She had barely relished every bit of the poem when Rioke rushed into her room to give his fake news. But she was still driven by the interest of Doro’s The Daffodil on Baliwe’s:
Her pert nose is as smooth and pointed as its petals,
Her voice tender and innocent like its corona,
The choice of her speeches knows no violence.
Only her back, not yet her front, is news that makes men fight,
But I have come to you, my daffodil, to end their fight…   
   Doro was supposedly a better poet (romantic) and singer than medical doctor. His music – She Gave Me Her All – won him the Grammy Award for Best Contemporary Blues Album in 1985. How Baliwe, a South African, fell in love with the handsome ebony-skinned Nigerian was not surprising. His love for her began to grow in its final phase after she won the 1989 Miss Berkeley. But before Doro made to woo her, she had a huge crush on him. It was never a mere schoolgirl crush. And now everyone was happy about the news of their relationship. The two most popular Africans on campus: one a full-blooded Nigerian whom the California State government looked forward to taking on as a medical doctor, and the other an Afro-American – her father was a South African and her mother an American. They both got wedded in one of the Baptist churches in the city of Eugene (Baliwe’s mother’s home city) in winter.
   Seven months or eight had gone and now Baliwe was pregnant. Her lovely mother was with her, all through, in California where she (Baliwe) and her husband lived. Nothing seemed to change her mother’s idea of always being there to take good care of her only child and grandchild. The fact that she was a grown-up not withstanding. Fega was just three months old when both parents took him to his paternal country. Doro was granted leave of five weeks in his place of work and his wife one year at Q1O7.5FM in San Francisco where she worked as a presenter – a renowned one at that.
   On his father’s parking lot, Doro stood with little Fega on his shoulders. His eyes were fixed on the ugly bougainvillea to a tuft of dry grass hung on the avocado tree, then on a catkin near the willow tree. He seemed to absorb the flitting of a bee on the bougainvillea. Its long proboscis would have been something picturesque but there was something, something disturbing, on his mind more than the morning drama of the bee: the death of his parents. He had only spent two weeks with them before their death. They were shot dead on their way from one of the early morning services in Saint Luke Catholic Church, Warri. The thought of who killed his parents, how they were killed and what they did that warranted the bizarre killing became his only concern. Could this be a playback of the death of the Olu’s son [Toju]? His mind began to race across time to find the answer to the question, but nothing seemed to appear on his mind rather than Toju’s death. Toju died during the Warri crisis – the one caused by the boundary dispute between the Okere-Urhobos and the Itsekiris. During the war, Rioke and his boys, supporters of the Urhobo group, were supposedly the murderers of Toju.
But this is late… And who would have said Rioke was the only Urhobo involved in the War? he thought, with his eyes wide open, looking at different directions like someone born with a squint. He hunkered down near the conservatory in the garden and sat down sorrowfully with his baby. Munching his mouth emptily, he made to nuzzle Fega. His silent words, as he looked at the garden subconsciously, could only be heard in quiet lines of dirge. Standing by the avocado tree, Baliwe noticed the look of preoccupation on her husband’s face; so she came near him, rolled up her drab brown long sleeves, cleaned her hands drenched with water on her camisole and hugged Doro by way of consoling him.
   Three months had gone since Doro left Nigeria for the States. He promised to come back to pick his wife, child and his only brother to the States in four months time.
   She broke into a trot and then, in a little while, tore down Walter Odili street, making splash with her grey pair of flip-flops. Her eyes were wide open as she ran into the street decorated with streamers of different colours. Getting close to a bush, far from the street, she walked with a rolling gait, her baby crying in pain of the unknown. She had got herself into what she did not prepare for – she stabbed Rioke in the leg. And now he and his friends were frantically looking for her.
   Halfway through the bush, she stopped to climb a tree. Her legs were heavy with the pain from running. Recklessly, she climbed to the top of the tree, her back aching and her black flannel skirt was torn so much so that one could see her velvet laps, thighs and grey p*nts. Her child sobbed noisily; his sound could reveal his mother. In the meantime, two hefty men with stony chests ran past the tree. Their eyes were red with danger. It was really a tough time for her. And equally a tough decision to have stabbed Rioke. Little Fega quickly stopped sobbing as though he was informed of Rioke’s arrival. He trudged and limped slightly around the tree. Sitting down under the tree, he heard a sound, a noise from a baby. A sobbing baby. He stood up, looking flushed and glassy-eyed, dusted his shorts and made to look up again. Baliwe was now beside herself with deadly worries. Nothing seemed to lift her fears. Her heart missed a beat when a blob of her milk industry milk dropped on one of Rioke’s bulging eyes. Her chances were now very slim. But he thought of nothing but the latex of the tree.  Robbing his fingers against his eye, he limped off at once. She climbed down, her legs heavy with tiredness and head throbbing with headache.
   As if she would forever run the way she did, she ran back, with her baby on her back, into the street she had earlier run past. Outside an orchard in a beautiful picturesque compound, she saw an orange tree that was cluttered with pods. Her concern for fruit was lost, and her interest in eating anything was misplaced. She could, seemingly so, feel inured to living without food. But she wished it would be for a short while. Sooner than she had imagined, she walked up to a ripe pod on a muddy ground. She hunkered down, picked it up and turned to go back to the verandah. She flushed to the roots of her hair when she heard someone’s screaming: Thief! It came from a room whose door was left ajar. A dark grotesque sort of lady with missing front teeth came out. Her dark wrinkled face had a mountain of both warps and moles. Upon hearing thief, a horde of children in stripy threadbare p*nts lined up on the scene. Some men in the neighbourhood (some looked tattered with mouths reeked with ogogoro) came too. Baliwe’s  face and her baby’s were defaced with heaps of sand thrown at them. They were soon drenched with adulterated water. Her words – it fell itself; I did not pluck it…  – did not find an echo in their hearts. Her baby cried, sobbed and yelped for something warm. Baliwe was not left out. But she knew in all conscience that her baby was more likely to be harmed by the smelly water than her; so she cleaned his body thoroughly on her wet jumper.
   She was dragged down the street, and was left lonely on a smelling cul            vert. Her cheeks were rough and pale with patches of dry tears. Her baby’s sleek hair was tousled and matted. Baliwe’s looked like she wore a gaudy toupee. Looking at the baby, with eyes filled with motherly emotions, she was forced to shed her own tears. But she hung back; instead, she nuzzled him and decided to remove the cups of her bra and placed her shiny drooping n*pples, one after the other, into his mouth. Although her milk industry milk looked like a curdled pap, little Fega could not help sucking like a hungry bitch.
   Across the culvert, a soignée lady in a tan suit got off her lilac Toyota Cressida. The lady walked past the house terrace, then into the only takeaway on Walter Odili street. Baliwe quickly felt a wave of dé já vu at her careful grace. She bore absolute resemblance to someone Baliwe knew. Someone like AMINA. Her gaze was fixed on the entrance of the takeaway. She wished the lady came out this side of five minutes. She was no longer in her dark glasses when she eventually came out.
   She heard a voice, an echo of her name, sometimes quavering and at another time clear and tense as she made to drive off. Does anyone know me around here? she thought. She just came from the States and had not been to Warri all her life. She came to Nigeria as one of the correspondents of the Atlantic Monthly upon hearing the news of the death of Kenule Beeson Saro-Wiwa (a renowned journalist and human rights activist who was hanged alongside other eight Ogoni sons in 1995 during the bloody Abacha regime) which led to the suspension of Nigeria from the Commonwealth. Her heart jumped as soon as she had a flash of those journalists imprisoned by Abacha – Kunle Ajibade and others. She saw  little of Ajibade only once at Silver Spring in Maryland, USA before his unjust imprisonment. She wanted to turn on the ignition and zoom off but the mother in her craved for the crying baby at the far end of the culvert. She crossed her mind and got off the car. Her rolling gait was unlike her usual self. In a moment, she came face to face with the crying baby and his mother. Though she was shocked, thinking it was a set up, her heart went out to the baby. She screwed up her last courage and took the baby up. Baliwe was thrilled to bit that someone had come to their rescue. Not knowing whom Baliwe and the little baby were yet, they walked hurriedly to where her car was.
   As she drove down one of the streets in the dusk, then into First Marine Gate before Okumagba Layout, they heard the sound of a bomb blast. There was road block. No route to the hotel where she lodged. Their hair stood on end as soon as the Itsekiri boys shot at the tyre of her car. They managed to slip quietly out of the car and hid themselves at the rear of a big kerosene tank. They could see some men in red and white coming towards the car. Amina held the little baby tight to herself. She was ready to sacrifice herself for little Fega. In a bid to change scene and head straight on foot to her suite, a piece of shrapnel wheezed past them. Amina thought it was Abacha’s men but it was eventually relatively clear that it was the Itsekiri and the Okere-Urhobo Warri communal crisis. A long silence fell across the scene. Little Fega wanted to burst into a revealing cry but it was quickly stifled by Amina.
   By the time Doro arrived in Nigeria, he was blindingly happy to come back to his family but his happiness was tinged with disappointment. A total wave of nostalgia. His only brother, Rioke, was found dead in a bathtub. His head was swollen, his eyes bugged with blood.
   Something terrible must have happened to Baliwe and Fega, he thought, having gone round the house and found no one. The scene curdled his blood as he stood, with cheeks cupped in his right palm, near his father’s tomb. A flash of thought ran through his mind. Sherifatu, Amina’s sister informed him that she and Amina were in Warri, at McJames Hotel.
   In his silence, as if  observing the Sicilians’ law of  omerta, he pictured his wife and son lying dead somewhere. What would happen to the colour of Doro’s life if Baliwe and little Fega were found dead? He wished he would not sing another string of dirge. How his life would be a picture book of sorrow, his songs microcosm of Kofi Awoonor’s Songs of Sorrow became a threat to his whole being.
   Doro sped past Walter Odili street and headed straight to Okumagba Avenue. He could get to First Marine Gate this side of ten minutes. His heart jumped when he saw phalanx of soldiers dragging corpses into their vehicles. A little child lay dead near a dead lady by the road side. He felt deadly wounded by this sight. Who would have said that it was not Baliwe and her son? He sustained a nick as he forced himself out of the car. As he pushed through the crowd in his pair of flats, the soldiers on guard pointed guns at him. His sang-froid was gone, but after a while, he felt a hankering desire to die like everyone in his family.
   You can shoot me and let me die like Baliwe and Fega… I owe no good result to this world since all I have are gone. I thought the death of my parents was the only quid pro quo of my brother’s involvement; but before I die, allow me to see my beautiful dead wife and child… he pleaded with his eyes entirely soaked. Before he could stop speaking, Usman, one of the soldiers commanded that all guns should be dropped. Doro and Usman went back twenty years. Doro’s soft speech did not change; so, it called up memories of their days in both primary and secondary schools. He had only heard more of Doro in newspapers and on NTA. He quickly dropped his gun and made to hug him. He led him to the positions of the corpses but none of them bore resemblance to both Baliwe and Fega. His face almost cracked into a strange smile, but that was not all he wanted. He wanted to see both of them face to face – whether dead or not.
   At McJame, Doro saw a lady in an ivory skirt and blouse worn over a pair of sling-back. He, escorted by Usman, walked up to her in a strange sort of approach. The looks on both Doro’s and Usman’s faces suggested that. The lady had heard of the recent crisis ; so, she stylishly walked away from them.
   “Hello!” exclaimed Usman. “We dey ask for someone actually…” But giving dead ears to all of that was her only choice. Walking down one of the alleys near the white-painted gazebo, they saw an orderly coming their direction. They were immediately shown to the front desk. At the lobby, after thorough questioning, Doro, while Usman waited for him at the lounge, was led by one of the waiters to the executive suite (U.K. suite) where Amina lodged. Opening the door, a ghost of smile greeted Doro’s face, the very first time in six weeks. He had seen someone he had always wished to see. But little Fega was not anywhere close to his mother. Wouldn’t it be enough for him if Baliwe was the only safe soul...? Still standing with arms akimbo, he watched his wife intently. Up till now, Baliwe had not known someone opened the door or was looking at her – she, on a supine position on a pull-out sofa, was buried in Ken Saro Wiwa’s A forest of Flowers. She raised up her face to take a little bite from an apple pod and probably take one last sip from saparilla. Her eyes were clear to the presence of her man, her nostrils were relatively good at smelling the fragrance of the cologne he wore, yet  her main preoccupation was the death of the renowned human rights activist whom she met at the White House (Washington DC) while going about her work as a journalist. Doro was surprised at why she did not seem to see him. His walking near her brought back her memory and senses. For ten straight minutes, Baliwe thought it was that sort of imagination that could be likened to children’s Utopia. So she winked, rubbing her palms carefully on her eyes. She could, as of now, think all that was a reflection on a full-length mirror, a mere image on a television, a clear picture on both recto and verso pages of a text book. Her right hand let go the book she was reading and made to sit down warily. Before she could stand up in her grey Italian-made culottes, Doro had, in full speed, rushed to her. His eyes were stained with a virgin colour of love as he looked into her eyes naturally made with sexual charm. His pink lips were invitingly struggling for her warm kiss.
   “You’ve lost me many times in Nigeria to lions in their own den. But I’ve come to know that the test of all these struggles was based on fidelity and patience – the  only mustard seed any good woman of great virtue could grow to stand the test of time… My umbrella was left unhoisted but now I see millions out of the billions of reasons to ever make it hoisted and cover both of us forever. But for Amina, the very good girl you had a fling with, I would have been a sole proprietor of my grave. And then, on my tomb, your snake–like brother’s epitaph would be the poem people read… I would have been killed by now if I had met face to face with him. Sebatana ha se bokwe ka diatla (The attacks of the wild beast cannot be averted with only bare hands)” 
   “… The boxes of my eyes were filled with dry tears when at first I arrived in Nigeria. Our compound was dark with the definition of stained blood and death…”
   “Rioke’s eyes were covered in thick blood of death in a bathtub. He wore dead pair of wellington boots on his legs.”
   Baliwe would have ordinarily developed goose pimples over the news of Rioke’s death, but she knew that was the only food the evil ones hoped to eat at sunset.
See the REPLY to read the rest part of the work.

Essays / Okowa's wonders in Abraka By Moses Darah
« on: November 30, 2018, 12:52:44 PM »
Okowa's wonders in Abraka

By Moses Darah

In a literal and comic sense, the name OKOWA may be seen as a hybrid of the Urhobo word for friend 'Oko', and the Yoruba word for our 'wa'. Juxtaposing both sense gives rise to OUR FRIEND as the meaning of who and what Okowa represents; and this indeed is the case.

My personal assessment of our friend’s performance in his first tenure generally, and with particular reference to the projects he executed in Abraka shows that he has performed credibly well. In particular, if I am asked to grade the projects executed in Abraka by the Governor of Delta State, Sen. Ifeanyi Okowa as at the end of his first term of four years ‘course’ gets closer, I will simply score him a 'B' in the average of 60%, sentiments aside.

Till date, many of my friends are still in doubt, wondering if these developmental strides are real. For the records, at this time in 2015, the Ekrejeta road, especially at the bank area was not motorable owing to flooding caused by the heavy rainfalls and the absence of drainage system. The flooding and its effect was a hell of an experience. Even the footbridges constructed by landlords in the area solely for pedestrians as a makeshift solution was not a solution in any way. Okowa soon moved in through Engr (Dr) Blessing Enamuotor with a functional drainage (not gutter ooo) and repairs of the decapitated areas.

Today, I decided to take a census of some of the laudable projects executed by the Governor Okowa's led administration:
1. Erho Sec Sch Abraka total renovation
2. Renovation of Umiaghwa Secondary School, Oria-Abraka
3. Construction of a six-classroom-block in Abraka Grammar School, Abraka
4. Construction of three sets of three classroom block each Urhuoka Secondary School, Abraka.
5. Construction of a six and three Classroom blocks at Ogodo Primary School Urhuovie, Abraka .
6. Construction of a six classroom block with Administrative block at Ojeta Secondary School, Abraka.
7. Construction of a six classroom block with toilets at Erho Primary School, Abraka.
8. Construction of Ivie Road, Abraka
9. Construction of Lucas Road, Abraka
10. Construction of NUT Road, Abraka (Ongoing).
11. Construction of Winners Road, Abraka
12. Construction of Jehovah Road / Umono Crescent, Abraka.

Clarion call: The NUT road is a waterlogged area. From my personal inspection of the area, I discovered that, unlike the Jehovah's witness road, it has no drainage. The Governor should kindly readdress it. The Okpogoro, College and Irhue roads should also be considered for construction. The most important one is the Irhue road linking Great Ovedje Ogboru's house through Etaghene street.

Appreciation: Special thanks to the governor for these good works. The third best House of Assembly member of the year, Hon Evans Ivwurie needs commendation too. He has been resolute in ensuring not only the development of his constituency, but the gallantry to chase away the evil herdsmen from Abraka. Let me quickly mention my first and second best house members. They are Hon Samuel Mariere of Ughelli North for sighting multiple projects especially schools in almost all the community of his constituency and Hon Reuben Izeze of Ughelli South for ensuring the takeoff of Okwagbe/Otutuama/Esaba road's construction and the payment of bursary to deserved students in tertiary institutions.

On a very serious note, the Abraka people should hire the Udje and Ikenike troupes of the Udu and Ughievwen people to celebrate this rare gem, who despite all odds, has broken the underdevelopment jinx in Abraka.

SIR A-ONE Memes / Top 50 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: November 28, 2018, 07:46:35 AM »
Top 50 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Here is a collection of 50 memes, jokes quotes, wisdom, as well as the stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE within the last 7 days.
1. Your Girlfriend sent you 20K, You gave it to another Lady who traveled to visit You from Abuja. How do you want to Die?😁
2. These SELF-ACCLAIMED Prophets who couldn't tell us the Country that was to win the World Cup are not saying anything about 2019 Elections (Winner) in Nigeria now. After the General Elections they would open their Mouths to gush out rubbish. I just hate Nonsense.😎
3. Don't DRAW my attention when You know you're not an ARTIST.🤣
4. You tagged Me alongside 78 other Friends 'Do You Love Me?' Do I look like a Child to you?😳
5. You have been inactive on my TimeLine for 3 years now. I cannot be the only 1 reacting on your Posts. LEAVE my LIST.😄
6. A Facebook Celebrity is called FELEBRITY. Now you know.
7. Tell Me one Thing They would not Teach You in School! ME: How to follow a Woman.🤣
8. I have no baby mama. I have never committed any abortion. No one is pregnant for Me.
9. Whether pregnancy before marriage, or pregnancy after marriage; pregnancy is pregnancy.
10. Whether you get married after giving birth, or you get married before you give birth; marriage is marriage.
11. I have 2 Friends here on Facebook. 1 was talking rubbish about premarital sex always. Bashing and kicking against it with so much effort(s) at 38. He got a girl pregnant. He is now a Father without marriage. Just cohabitation. The Baby now is his Profile Picture. The other one is a Lady. At 38 she always talk about men being bullshit. She said she does not need a man to make her a complete woman cos she is some how rich. Today, she forced a pregnancy on a friend of mine (don't ask me how). My friend had to engage her. She has put to bed now. All her status now are 'No woman is complete without a man'; 'No matter how stubborn you are as a woman, you need a man to hit you up in your soft zones'; 'I love sex'; 'No man, no life'. What happened to the BITTER Feminist she inserted on her BIO when she was feeling like a Miss World? She realised there is something called menopause. *Ekpa. What happened to all the nonsense she has said about men being stupid?

Just allow People to talk anything they want to talk on Social Media. Some persons don't need advice. WATCH beyond the screen, You will see them eat their own shit in future.
12. Don't be comfortable in Bondage. Break Yourself out. Enjoy your Freedom. Say farewell to daddy & mommy's care.
13. I publicly called you out as a Plagiarist. You went mad. BLOCKED Me. Now you're still stealing Contents to send to me on WhatsApp. Your Father should have pulled out. Waste of Sperm.
14. E-Book 4 Sale! Let's build 5,000,000 Seater. Author: Nigerian Pastors.😄
15. E-Book 4 Sale! Deep, Nice Poem, Best Poem & Wow. Author: Facebook Critics
16. E-Book 4 Sale! I can take care of myself, ejaculate inside. Author: Desperate Ladies.
17. E-Book 4 Sale! Buhari is the best President in the World. Author: Hailers.
18. E-Book 4 Sale! Talk about Buhari rudely & Get the Block button. Author: Hailers.
19. E-Book 4 Sale! He would die if I leave him. Author: All My Ex.
20. E-Book 4 Sale! Buhari is an elder to Atiku, they cannot debate together. Author: Hailers.
21. E-Book 4 Sale! I will murder you electronically. Author: APC & PDP Supporters.
22. E-Book 4 Sale! I can copy from anywhere & post. Author: Facebook Plagiarists.
23. Nov. 26 2009 I joined Facebook. Today (26.11.2018)  I'm celebrating 9 years on Facebook. If I hard a baby mama 9 years ago I would have become a Father. Let me cry.
24. See how time soar like an Eagle. Facebook displayed a video for me, 9 years on Facebook. What if I had a child 9 years ago?
25. Do something good with your Life. Keep doing what you know how to do best. Just ONE DAY You will be a KNOWN.
We keep you updated. We welcome quotes, news, rants, literature, politics, opinions, business, music, memes, jokes, gossip etc. Please, don't be harsh with anyone. Be diplomatic here.
Means of Communication is ENGLISH Language.
Enjoy yourself in this group.
27. I will UNFRIEND You. Yes. You. You have been inactive for over 2 years now. I need space. Don't *form Celebrity for me.😜
28. The SEARCH for those who can keep People ENTERTAINED in a Group daily is still on. INBOX me via the page: SIR A-ONE on Facebook.
29. I know of one Guy on Facebook, after sexual intercourse with any of his Facebook friend He would come & broadcast it publicly.
STOP this rubbish, else I might sleep with your Future Wife. I hate nonsense.🤣
30. Someone should be BOLD to propose to His Girlfriend on Facebook. Let's see Her response cos she's dating over 7 Guys online.😜
31. He's dating your Daughter even when he is yet to pay 6 months rent to You as the Landlord? Give him a Notice of Quit. Ungrateful Bastard.😜
32. When someone is set to leave your Life, he/she would leave; no matter what you do. Don't beg anyone to stay. But, you can beg for sex to free yourself.
33. GUY: Babe, can You come around? Let's watch Blue Movie.
GIRL: Thank goodness, I'm coming right away, Boo.😜
34. Why some persons pretend on Social Media, they don't want People to BLOCK or UNFRIEND them. You're useless if that's your mentality. Whether you talk sense or nonsense, people will block & unfriend You. Just be YOURSELF. Stand for what you know how to do best & be proud of it.
35. On Facebook, I get People pregnant daily on my WALL with humour.
36. To TEST the level of your Patience? DATE a Lady.
37. Selfishness is the BROOM & UMBRELLA of Nigeria Politics.
38. While in Primary School, I said I wanted to be a Soldier & serve in the Army. At Secondary School, I learnt the pay is nothing to write home about in Nigeria. Since then I said I want to be a Self Employed Icon & Give employments.
39. Make up your mind to let her know how you feel about her. She would either say YES or NO.
40. Pastors & Priests should live in Luxury. It's not an easy job/work.
41. If your Pastor is the one using the most expensive CAR, use your HEAD.
42. If all he wants is your PUNA, then go after his MONEY & suck him dry.
43. If she's grateful for little things, she's an asset & not a liability.
44. You bring everything about You on Facebook, why not settle it with your Husband?
45. Facebook Background makes you know those who can summarise very well.
46. You sent her 2K airtime & She finished it up without a call/SMS? LEAVE Her, She's not a Wife Material.
47. Whenever a Building collapse that's when You hear all manner of NONSENSE from Government & People.
My Condolences to those who lost their LIVES at the Collapsed Building in Woji, GRA, PortHarcourt.
48. Mr. Patrick died of Hunger. The Children & Family have budgeted N7,000,000 for his Funeral. What a wicked World?
49. If you have the power to change anything in your Country, what would you change?
50. November 22 is yet another day of joy. I'm 32 today with no regret. God BLESS Dad who planted the SEED. I'm grateful to Mom who watered & birthed the Seed. & to Friends who have been there, I'm PROUD of You all. Happy birthday to Me on behalf of my future Wife & Children.
BONUS: Did you know just one public disgrace of a Plagiarist can RUIN his/her several years of activeness? Say NO to PLAGIARISM.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger, freelancer & literatus.
I bring you wisdom, stupidity, jokes, memes etc daily. I'm GOODNEWS ANDREW ERUEMUARE also known as SIR A-ONE.
In the recent past, I have released several single memes & volumes of memes.
Even when your problem is bigger than the land mass of Africa, you will smile as a result of my memes.
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Profiles / SIR A-ONE at 32: Messages from friends & colleagues
« on: November 21, 2018, 07:44:29 AM »
Here are some of the birthday wishes to the blogger cum literatus, Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE, as he clocks 31 years of age November 22, 2018. The Pope of Memes, the online miscreant, the Literary Shrine Attendant (LSA) is proud of the Day.

Rachel Raphason >>>
I want to be the first to wish you a happy birthday before tomorrow comes My prayer for you on this special day is this:
Lord, Shepherd my friend today
In green pastures let him lay
To still waters guide his way
Restoreth his soul, I pray
Lead him in the paths of right
Through the valley give him light
When he's afraid ease his fright
With Thy rod and staff lend might
Prepare a table of spoil
Anointest his head with oil
Give to him a cup that's royal
Let goodness follow his toil
And Thy mercy cease never
May he dwell in Thy house forever
This I ask in Jesus' name, Amen
Happy birthday dear. God loves you and we do too because You still remain our blessing.

Yes, Chi-family celebrates you as you mark yet another birthday. You have come a long way; remember the hurdles you jumped, the demons you faced and the odds you conquered. You emerged a winner because you're made of something tougher than flesh. You are forged in God's grace, shielded by His love. You are a child of destiny.
So today, I want to remind you that your best is yet to come. Brace yourself for an amazing future. Greatness awaits you. Men shall celebrate you. You will sit with Kings and queens. You will impact your generation. Let this birthday be a reminder of your value. Don't let anyone tell you that you are less than you are. Your present condition does not define you. You are your own creator. You have the powers to paint the future you deserve. So go ahead today. Paint! Paint joy! Paint love! Paint peace! Paint wealth! Paint wisdom! Paint patience! Paint purpose! Paint all the beauty you feel deep down.
Have a reflective birthday today, dear.
With love,
Chioma Ngaikedi

Martha Betty Abel >>>
Even If I Spent My Entire Life Paying You For The Happiness That You Have Brought Into My Life, I Would Never Be Able To Thank You Enough. I Love U, HIS MAJESTY, And I Hope That Someday I Can Bring Into Your Life As Much Happiness As You Have Brought To Me. Have An Amazing Birthday. ONCEMORE HAPPY BORNDAY HIS MAJESTY!

Dear ERUEMUARE, GOODNEWS  ANDREW we realize how important today is to you. Birthdays come once in a year, so we celebrate you today. Happy birthday, and have an amazing year.

Sele O Sele >>>

Emmanuel Chukwuma Onyeabor >>>
Happy birthday baba.

Joy Blizz >>>
Happy birthday dear

Chiazor Fidel >>>

Dear ERUEMUARE ANDREW GOODNEWS, Happy Birthday! We wish you many more happy years ahead. Have a wonderful experience...From all of us at FirstBank.

Sanusi Bolaji Emmanuel
Happy birthday sir!

Felix Filarge Effiong
Happy birthday sir A1 God bless u immediately.

Akin Godsent
Happy birthday to you, Bro.

Joshua Ivworin (Prof. Jice) >>>
Birthday comes once in a year, on this ur special day I want to appreciate God for ur life,may this new age usher u into a greater flight in life. I pray for success in ur endeavors, may ur wishes n aspirations come true, may u have more money and may heaven respond to ur call in Jesus name Amen.
Happy Birthday to a literary shrine, may this ur new age bring more connection to u n more wisdom and inspiration to u.

Victory Eruemuare >>>
Happy Birthday my Elder Brother;  just this time 32 years was when Mamma gave birth to you, you could have come through other parents but because God wanted you to be my Elder brother, God wants Mrs. Agberia to be your mother and because God wants you to be Goodnews Eruemuare

Lizzy >>>
Happy Birthday 2 you. I wish you all it takes 2 live a good life & to please God. have a fruitful  day ahead & stay  bless.

Uche Comfort Ikem >>>
Happy birthday
,dear... wyllap + age gracefully... Enjoy heaven's best alwz, boo...

Honest Elo-akpo Emoghene >>>
Before today will get busy, I want to wish Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare, my Urhobo brotha a happy birthday.
Bro, live free. Enjoy!

Bharat Kumar >>>
Happy birthday.

Faith Aghwana >>>
Happy Birthday 4 U Are +1 Today.

Princess Wanawana >>>
On the celebration of your birthday, I pray that you will spend the rest of your years in good health, plenty and dominion, the Lord of Host will celebrate with you. He will give you peace, joy, breakthrough, wisdom in all things, He will expand your coast and everyday of your life you'll have new songs and testimonies. Happy birthday more grease to your elbow***
Enjoy your day.

Patgnws Pat >>>
Happy birthday to you my great writer my wonderful king, may the good lord bless you richly success in all you do in life age graceful.

Cheif Samuel Enyioko >>>
Happy birthday celebration to you my good friend and I wish you all the best of lucks and the Lord Jesus Christ Will send you power to do all things and prosper and be a great man of God in Jesus Christ name Amen.

Elvis Enwien >>>
Oga mi Sir A1, HBD to u the KING, u made facebook very interesting to me, i salute u.

Kayode Jacob >>>
It’s another amazing year.
I am wishing you a fabulous birthday. God will grant all your heart desires.
I celebrate you!
Kayode J.

Chidimma N. >>>
It is not just another birthday for you, but a day that God picked and blessed a special star in the world. Happy birthday dear and many more years.
Helen Temitope >>>
Hbd deariee wish u llnp.

Stefn Sylvester Anyatonwu >>>
Happy Birthday, boss.

Comfortzone Okoro >>>
Happy birthday with joy. So I senior you sef.

Noleen Utterance Titus >>>
Hip, hip, hoorrrray ! Happy, Blessed Natal Day ! Have a blast.

Isor Baridakara >>>
Happy birthday Brother. Wishing you all the best in life.

John Wanogho >>>
May you grow in wisdom, in intellect, in finances, in influence and above all, in love as you grow in age to the glory of God. Happy birthday and best wishes
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare Cheers.

Dase Ogheneochuko Clement >>>
Happy birthday Brodaly. Cheers.

Abubakar Ishaq Eazy >>>
Happy birthday A-One.

Chukwuemeka Jonathan >>>
Happy Birthday Bro
I wish you the best.

David L. Wekulom >>>
Congrats bro. You're a great man and a huge blessing to the world. May God bless and increase you in wisdom and in favour with all men. Happy birthday.

Dase Emmanuel Emavwerhen >>>
Happy birthday to you my Literary giant.

On this special occasion of your birthday, we wish you a wonderful year ahead and success in all your endeavors. Thank you for banking with UBA.

Naniho Kalu >>>
Here is wishing you a fabulous birthday,man.

Eruemuare Fejiro >>>
happy birthday big bro
More fruitful yrs ahead.

Peter Mba >>>
Happy Birthday! Wishing you God's best and abundant life.

Orji Charles >>>
Happy birthday to u bro more grace to ur life nd more money to ur bank account, age gracefully.

Nsibiet Tommy >>>
Happy birthday man, grace abound. too much money fall on u.

Kotor Ese >>>
Happy birthday brother, wish you all the best in life.

Mojisola Amodemaja >>>
Happy birthday to you.

Balogun Olamilekan >>>
Happy Birthday.

Adaobi Sandra Isuwenze Ijoma >>>
Happy birthday.

Mami Okojie >>>
Happy birthday.

Cynthia Gentile >>>
Happy birthday.

Uzoma Divine >>>
Happy birthday.

S.A. Ibrahim >>>
Happy birthday sire.
More life, more wins.
Age gracefully.

Soul'e Rhymez >>>
Happy birthday Chief.

Jacinta Nathans Biose >>>
happy birthday Mr.

Afolabi Elisha Bashiru >>>
Happy birthday.

Okpara Macpherson >>>
Happy birthday, Goodnews.

Ndubuisi Agu >>>
Ahead ahead.

Idowu Olatunbosun Patrick >>>
Happy Birthday Sir.

Dear Pengician,

Happy Birthday Pengician!!!

We wish you many fruitful years ahead!

Best Regards,
Nairaland Forum Team,

Kufre Moses >>>
Happy Birthday Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare and may you excel brilliantly with good success now and always.

Qoll'Me Prince Rex >>>
Happy birthday , sire .
Blacky Tega >>>
Good morning
Happy birthday dear,wishing you all the blessings of this day and more to come. Enjoy your new age.

Prince Hto Precioustwins >>>
Happy birthday, bro. Bigger and better you.

Jide Badmus >>>
Happy birthday Eruemuare Andrew Goodnews.
God bless You.

Moses Kufre >>>
It's 22nd November, 2018.
The fourth week begins sizzlingly.
The second month of the last quarter gears on. The eleventh month which is the penultimate for the year is our month of "Eleventh Moment Miracle"
November should remind us how to count our blessings no matter how small and name them one by one and be hopeful for more even in this month.
Just a little one more push and you're there already.
Be mindful that it's never over with you in October no matter the non-palatable experiences, hence, you have November today and you can still finish strong in December when you still stay focus and believe that YOU WILL and CAN even in this month.
Make today count as you kindly read the below carefully --
At this stage of your life you need to start looking for business partners. Not friends.
Ten years from now those friends might vaporise into thin air...
Ten years from now your business must be generating active and passive income for you...
Ten years from now your today's investment becomes a large asset...
Ten years from now your child will eat or starve from the decisions you make today...
Ten years from now your swag or beauty won't pay your bills
Ten years from now you're either celebrating or regretting from the actions you take today.
Be wise!... *stop the procrastination*
Do have a productive Thursday and funfilled birthday!

Adelaja Ridwan Olayiwola >>>
Happy birthday senior writer.

Okeke Stanley Divine >>>
Happy Birthday.

Akujuobi Uchenna >>>
Happy Birthday bro.
Many fruitful years ahead.

Godwin Williams >>>
Happy birthday.

Renaiz Renaissance >>>
happy birthday comrade.

Irekpita Godfrey >>>
happy birthday to you bro.

Joshua AO >>>

Stephen Adinoyi >>>
Happy birthday.

Abiola Anashioba Akanu >>>
Happy Birthday young Man.

Uzo Nwamara >>>
Happy birthday bro. Rock your day, man.

Israel Obinna Ugwu >>>
Happy birthday, bro.
Age with grace.

Proxy Emenike Udeh >>>
Wow! My age mate..
Long life and prosperity is what I wish you on this special day, In Jesus name.

Richard Billions >>>
Happy birthday sir. Bless!

Folorunsho Ed >>>
Happy birthday to a living encyclopedia age gracefully.

Peace Ofurhie >>>
Happy birthday great man.

Blessing Eguono M >>>
Happy birthday to my wonderful urhobo brother... A guy with a heart of gold, age with grace.

Praise Odinaka Felix >>>

Orgbu Fortune Chibuike >>>
Happy birthday.

OluGlory Ore-Ofe Adeniran >>>
Happy birthday to you muse man.

Eunice Edokpa >>>
Happy Birthday dear
God bless you and grant you many more years to celebrate.

Okeme James Jerome >>>
Happy birthday boss! More Grace and wisdom.

La Luz Adetola >>>
Happy birthday boss.

Ebihor Deborah >>>
Happy birthday.

Morrison Omokiniovo Jessa Snr >>>
Happy birthday bro. Cheers.

Here's wishing you a day full of pleasant surprises and another great year filled with opportunities. Happy Birthday from all of us at FCMB!
Zee Ibrahim >>>
Happy Birthday! Many more blessings and years to come.

Suzzy Gloria Jackson >>>
Happy Birthday Sweetheart.
Age Gracefully.

Ibe Chikeziem Kasiemobi >>>
Happy birthday sir A-one.

Peace Peter Eme >>>
Happy birthday dear age gracefully.

Janet Colette Okike >>>
Happy birthday! More grace and wisdom.

Blessing Doris Chinyere >>>
Happy birthday Andrew.

Esther Tonye >>>
Happy Birthday dear
More life.

Obinna Oke >>>
And this joy will only multiply. Wishing you a rosy future. God bless you richly. Happy birthday!

Micheal Amobi >>>

Ajede Chika Kennedy
At 32 without aye? We need to visit MFM bros.... Lol... Happy Birthday Man.

Henry Erhiyioja >>>
More grace sir.
Happy birthday.

Illah Michael Òjòdòmò >>>
Happy birthday king.

Adigun Temitope Idealism >>>
Happy birthday egbon nla. Big man with big heart.

Regha Julius >>>
Happy birthday brotherly.

Augusta Igo >>>
Congratulations on your new age...

Rejoice Nkem Okafor >>>
Happy birthday great Linguist may God richly bless you. You look way younger.

Onos JP >>>
SIR 'A-ONE' a name dat makes F-NINE to commit suicide Ntime Nday. May evrytin turn to A-ONE 4u and ur fam IJN. HBD BOSS!

Justus Nwani >>>
happy birthday the greatest igwe.

Onyekachi Jude >>>
Happy birthday my good brother.

Obaruwe Oghenetejiri Emmanuel >>>
Happy birthday literary icon... I celebrate you mightily.

Micheal Rebecca Susan >>>
Awww happy birthday sweet@.

Malik Arch-jubril Olalekan >>>
Happy birthday, wise one.

Vivian Ogheneovo >>>
Happy birthday big bro many more years to come.

Ebere Juliet Uchenna >>>
Happy birthday to you sir A ONE keep ageing and progressing,amen.

Amanda Ferdinand >>>
Happy birthday to you, may God bless u greatly.

Chykah Bro >>>
Happy birthday.

Jamiu Ahmed >>>
Happy Birthday

Ibrahim Folorunsho Amusat >>>
happy birthday sir.

Umar YB >>>
Happy birthday sage.

Mohammed Ness >>>
Happy Birthday.

Taiwo Babalola >>>
Happy birthday and many happy returns.

Prince Eseoghene Collins Itirikpe >>>
Happy birthday bros.

Amie Bekee >>>
Happy birthday dear.

Lakshmi Pramod >>>
Happy birthday Sir.

Lakshmi Pramod >>>
Happy birthday Sir.

Otatane-oso Andrew >>>
Blessings bro.

Olúwágbémilékè Olúwásomídòtun Omo Dúrótadé

Chijioke Casmir Olisakwe >>>
Happy Birthday Chief.

Emeka Eboh >>>
Happy birthday bro.

Abigail Akpokiniovo >>>
Happy birthday Sir.

Master Ase Abbey-Kalio >>>
Happy birthday.

Comr Nelson Onyeka Nwaonicha >>>
Hbd brother.

Mariko Leif Dante >>>
Happy birthday.

Christabel Daghware >>>
Happy birthday sir A1.

Chrisrian Ebhote >>>
Happy birthday bro.

Jude Iyke >>>
Happy birthday, boss.

Vick Slimzy >>>
Happy birthday bro.

Worlu Abigail Wobo >>>
Happy birthday dear.

Nnaji Blessing >>>
Happy birthday dear.

Edore Fred >>>
Happy birthday.

Stelimore Shining >>>
Happy birthday sir A1.

Ese-ekuluwe Rachael >>>
Happy birthday to you.

David Ogaga Etagbedavwe >>>
Happy birthday.

Fegor Agatovure >>>
Happy birthday.

Fejiro Agatha Ukusi >>>
Happy birthday.

Jenny Love Augustine >>>
Happy birthday my linguist.

Judith Isukuru >>>
Happy birthday.

Boma Lawson >>>
Happy birthday sir.

Michael Amah >>>
Happy birthday bro.

Eddidiong Peter >>>
Happy birthday boss.

Rita James >>>
Happy birthday boo.

MariaTina Chidera >>>
More life dear.

Balogun Simeon Eguono >>>
Happy birthday.

Oghenero Usiaphre Akpiroroh >>>

Dafman Oghenekparobo Edafe >>>
Happy birthday great man age with abundant wisdom cheers.

Chykah Bro >>>
Happy birthday. God bless you richly.

Comr Nelson Onyeka Nwaonicha >>>
Happy birthday brother.

Greene Okome >>>
Congratulations! Its your day, enjoy the abundance of God as you age with grace.

Scott Thomas Outlar >>>
Happy Birthday.

Esharenana E. Adomi >>>

Manason De Antagonist >>>
HBD bro.

Beloved Olajide Oluyemi Oyero >>>
HBD Bro.

Erobomhan Omoifo >>>
HBD Boss.
May God bless ur new age n d effort of ur hands.

Olisaemeka Gerald >>>
Happy birthday, Goodnews.

Wogu Richardson Eyong >>>
Happy birthday Pengician. I wish you many more prosperous and fulfilled years. Enjoy your day! Cheers!

Nsugbe Tobechukwu >>>
Happy birthday to you.

Segun StickieBambie Ojomo >>>
Happy birthday!

Ilo Ebube >>>
Happy Birthday to you my friend...and many more years ahead.

Yaketa Acquaah-Harrison >>>
Happy birthday.

Ene Essien >>>
Happy birthday. Have a wonderful celebration.

Richard Omoba >>>
Happy birthday.

Sernamarriet Ifunanya >>>
Happy Birthday... Bigger You I Pray.

Paul Idiong >>>
Happy birthday great man Eruemuare Andrew Goodnews...More creativity and productivity.

Francis Anyacho >>>
Happy birthday.

Opeyemi Olatunji >>>
HBD you are not born by mistake but for a purpose which you shall fulfil age gracefully Yemytpx cares.

Nyerhovwo Odogun >>>
Happy birthday to you.

Munachimso Gift Muller >>>
HBD, Bro.

Prince Hto Precioustwins >>>
Happy birthday, bro. I wish you the best of your heart desires. Many happy returns.

Neil Perry >>>
Happy Birthday.

Chiyasa-Ezeezeh Ikwuemesibe >>>
Happy birthday.

Fo La Ke >>>
Happy birthday bro.

Fabrice Aimé Gohi >>>
Happy birthday Dear.

Chris Nwabueze Ndu >>>
Happy birthday.

Peace Peter Eme >>>
Happy Birthday to you best wishes.

Stephen Toluade Bello >>>
Happy Birthday! I wish you the very best as you celebrate today.

Okoro Okeoghene Ruth >>>
Happy birthday, wish you more fruitful years IJN Amen.

Charles Jaja-Sackey >>>
Happy Birthday!

Emmanuel OpeYemi Adisa >>>
Happy Birthday Sir A One, God Bless You Visibly.

Soul'e Rhymez >>>

Innocent Junior >>>
Happy birthday! May God bless your new age and crown you with love and peace. Wish you all that makes life beautiful.
Happy Birthday!

Akin Godsent Oghenejuvwe >>>
Happy birthday.

Samuel Benson >>>
Happy birthday Sir A one. More fruitful years.

Graciano Enwerem >>>

Nigets Khichi >>>
Happy birthday to you dear God bless you.

Tunde Omoyeni Usman >>>
Happy birthday.

Promise Yenimi Sylvester >>>
Happy Birthday
I wish you all the best.

Kome Emmanuel Udemba >>>

Unbeliever Chinenye >>>
Happy birthday.

Adaobi Sandra Isuwenze Ijoma >>>
Happy birthday.

Blessing Osadebamwen Akpan >>>
Happy birthday.

Vick Slimzy >>>
Hbd to u bro, success all d way.

Suzzy Gloria Jackson >>>
Happy Birthday Man Wey Sabi.
Happy Birthday My Manest Man.
Happy Birthday My Paddy.
May Your Days Be Long Just Like Methuselah,
May You Fall And Never Stumble,
May Your Son Never Look Like Your Landlord.
Age Gracefully Paddy.

Justice Jofa >>>
happy beleated birthday SIR -A....GOD bless ur new age.

Emaimo Omoregie >>>
For you on your birthday, I wish you a lifetime of happiness, a smaller amount of worries, and a boat load of big dreams coming true, May this year be a breakthrough year for you! I hope that all your stars keep shining and your biggest dreams come true. Congrats on another great year. Happy Birthday.

Adebayo Olamilekan >>>
Happy birthday Bro.

Kingsley Chukwudi Ejike >>>
Happy birthday.

Luther Iliya >>>
Happy birthday.

Danazumi Vosiuten >>>
Hapi baiday boss.

Abonyo Ceaser Steven >>>
Happy birthday.

Adetayo Omotoyosi Adeolu >>>
Happy Birthday Sir. Many more hears in good health and wealth.

Kehinde Gbadeyanka >>>

Ayomide Micheal >>>
Be fruitful
Be truthful
Be useful
Happy birthday to you brother.

Tomiwa Cybermag Nicolas >>>
Happy birthday bro.
Check the REPLY/COMMENT to see the rest messages!

Education / Encomium, As Anambra Young Writers Celebrate Achebe in Awka
« on: November 18, 2018, 08:55:33 AM »
Encomium, As Anambra Young Writers Celebrate Achebe in Awka

By SYNW Media

It was indeed a moment of panegyrics as writers thronged in Awka, the capital city of Anambra State to celebrate one of the world's most famous writers and Africa's most widely read author, late Prof. Chihua Achebe.
The event known as the 2018 Chinua Achebe Literary Festival, with the tag: "Remembering Chinua Achebe: A Celebration of a Literary Star" was organized by the Society of Young Nigerian Writers, Anambra State Chapter in collaboration with the Prof. Kenneth Dike Central E-Library, in celebrationof the great literary crackerjack, Achebe, and marking of his 88th posthumous birthday.
        Delivering a keynote lecture titled "Chinua Achebe: The Literary Icon And His Ụkwụta Azụ", the keynote speaker at the event, Prof. Ifeyinwa Ogbazi of Unizik (who is also a connoisseur in the literary field) went down memory lane on Achebe's life as a writer, to exhumate his heroic deeds and inputs towards restoring the Glory of African continent.
     Referentiallly touring round Achebe's books, Prof. Ogbazi  described him as a nationalist who did not only fight colonialism and racism in Africa with his pen as a writer, but also projected the beauty of Africa through his books, and left great legacies; hence worth to be celebrated, as his luminous life and  gargantuan vestiges can never be forgotten in a hurry .
      In her own speech, while declaring the event open, the Honourable Commissioner for Basic Education in the state, Prof. Kate Omenugha described the event as apt and worth celebrating, owing to the fact that Achebe was not only a model but also a literary giant whose works brought Igbo Culture to the fore as well as attempt solving numerous problems confronting humanity.
       Quoting a National Light Newspaper's publication of 15th November 2018, Prof. Omenugha, who was represented by the Head of Department, Educational Services in the ministry, Mrs. Vera Ogbalu and the Public Relations Officer of the ministry, Mr. Nnaemeka Egwuonwu, reminded the particip*nts that 16th November is a landmark date in Anambra State, being a day that brings together (by birthday) at least three of the Africa's most outstanding figures of the 20th century, being late Chief Nnamdi Azikiwe, late Prof. Chinua Achebe and late Chief Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, who all hailed from Anambra State.
She therefore eulogized the organizers of the first ever literary festival in honour of the legendary Achebe, even as she called for sustenance of such a great initiative.
       Earlier in his address of welcome, the Coordinator of the Society of Young Nigerian Writers (Anambra State Chapter), Mr. Izunna Okafor said the primary reason behind the annual event was to celebrate the literary figure and his literary vigour in a literary way, so as to keep his literary deeds ever green as well as impact on the young ones who would also want to trail his path.
He enumerated some of the leviathan achievements of the great literary star, which he argued indeed worth remembering and celebrating, hence the initiation of the literary festival which he said started since  2016, and was in its third edition.
      For the acting director of the Prof. Kenneth Dike Central E-Library, Dr. Nkechi Udeze, the event indeed worth celebrating, being a best way to honour and commemorate such a great fallen hero, as well as mold another bunch of intellectuals who will take over.
       In their separate speeches, the Managing Director/Editor-in-Chief of the National Light Newspaper, Sir Chuka Nnabuife; the Dean Faculty of Arts Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu University, Igbariam, Prof. Ngozi Chuma-Udeh (represented by Mr. Bryan Udeh); the author of The Last Carver', Rev. Fr. Ositadimma Amakeze; and the Senior Special Assistant to the Anambra State Governor on Social Orientation, Dr. Mitchelle Onugbelu showered panegyrics on the great star, Achebe, who they described as a blessing to Africa and the world in general, citing the different dimensions in which he and his works inspired them.
      Aside poetry performances and other literary activities used to garnished the event, it also featured essay writing competition amongst secondary, in which Nwachi Rejoice of Faith Model Secondary School Awka; Obi Amarachi MaryAnn of St. John of God Secondary School Awka; Okeke Chito Angel of Nnamdi Azikiwe University High School Awka; Eze Emmanuel Chisom of Kenneth Dike Memorial Secondary School  Awka, and Onuekwe Amara G. of St. Lucy International Secondary School Awka emerged the first, second, third, fourth and fifth prize winners respectively. 
       The event also featured award ceremony, unveiling and launching of the Third Chinua Achebe Poetry/Essay Anthology, as well as the announcement of the poets/authors of the best 10 poems and essays (respectively) published in the anthology, which received submissions from writers across the world, all written in memory of Chinua Achebe.
      Other dignitaries who graced the occasion include the Honourable Commissioner for Diaspora Affairs, Indigenous Artwork, Culture and Tourism, Barr. Mrs. Sally Mbanefo; the MD/Ceo of Naira Rice Nig. Ltd. Mr. Arinze Omenwa; the MD/Editor-in-Chief, Explorer Magazine, Mr. Tobenna Obiano.

Comedy/Funny Post/Joke / Top 19 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: November 14, 2018, 07:01:28 AM »
Top 19 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
This is a collection of 19 memes, quotes, hilarious lines, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE for the last few days.
1. BREAK-UP before & now: Take pictures back. But now? Delete the pictures from Phones, Systems, M-Cards.
2. You were FOOLED by Her sweet words. Look beyond their WORDS.
3. My Occupation: Making sense & nonsense like EBA daily. 😆
4. Some persons want you to labour all by yourself before they would enjoy. Nonsense.
When we created the Group (Name withheld) some time ago (2013), we were just 3 members. We grew to 12 members in 1 month. Yes, one month of hard labour. We have been labouring to bring the group to limelight for over 5 years now. God so kind, it is becoming popular now. We have over one hundred thousand (100K) members on it. We now restrict it in such a way that POSTS must be  APPROVED before they appear on it. This very uncle who has never LIKED, COMMENTED, or POSTED anything on the Group for over 4 years have the GUTs to call me to abuse me that I was being selfish. Selfish? What for when the said group receive(s) over 100 posts daily, you don't want us to restrict posting for posts to be centered on What the group stands for?
Alright. I agree with you. I'm selfish.
Go and SELLMEAT, you ridiculous moron.
5. Those who would make a post just to cover up your post in a WhatsApp group are your VILLAGE PEOPLE. They would never make a post for hours, but when you make any post, they would post something to cover it up within seconds.
They don't want your progress.
Now you know the true definition of Village People.
6. Nigeria is a Country that does not appreciate People that make money legitimately.
7. Can You really ABUSE someone online to an extent that the Person would want to DELETE his Account? INBOX Me.
8. 'It's OVER between us!'; 'You're FIRED!' are 2 brutal lines anyone should pray not to hear same day.😎
9. She has never passed the Night in a guy's house, She's not on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter; she's from a responsible home; her character is okay; she has never committed an abortion; the Family like You; she has never been to a club house; she loves reading; best teacher of the year award to her; she loves Hollywood & Nollywood movies; she can tell you the naked truth not minding who you are...
What else again do you need?
10. How would You feel getting your post, website, advert, business, event etc at the TOP of a Group with over one hundred and nine thousand, six hundred and sixteen 109,616 (109K+) members for like 1 week/month? 👉 CONTACT ME.
11. You're showing off for me? My handsomeness is 98 times your beauty.
12. If your name on Facebook is CYNTHIA REBECCA, which is your surname?
13. Those who come on People's posts to say 'Your post is stupid'. Don't they have WALLS to make their intelligent posts?
14. The Boy who ruined my relationship sometime ago is about to get married to one girl that has been giving me GreenLight. Should I go & fuck her?
15. Since 2009 till date, only 12 of my posts have gone against Facebook community standard. The 12 were removed.
16. Plagiarist "Sun Sam Paul" replied me:
Please, if you know you steal POSTS & don't add the names of the owners before posting; remember that is an offense. Plagiarism is a crime. Why not SHARE a post instead of stealing it?
This is like the 8th Plagiarist I have called out on Facebook. All of them have BLOCKED Me. It is better you block me for speaking the truth than be stealing posts and still be having the boldness to be on my List.
You can copy & paste a POST on Facebook SEARCH bar to know who actually made the post first after a careful scrolling of several places (Pages, Groups & Walls) such post might have appeared. Desist from stealing People's posts. Don't be a ridiculous GOAT on Social Media all because you want to trend.
17. Don't TREND with another man's intellectual property. STOP stealing posts.
18. I use the LOVE reaction doesn't mean I Love You. Don't destroy the NAME I'm trying to BUILD.
19. Only this year, I have given you over 350 LIKES & over 80 comments. I just appreciate your creativity. I'm not in LOVE with You.
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time blogger & literatus (writer).

I invest in originality & creativity daily!

It might not make sense to you, doesn't mean there is no sense in it. As our faces are different, so our likes and dislikes. Always remember that in this Life, it is a game of different strokes for different folks. Don't kill yourself trying to make sense on social media. No matter the sense in what you do, others will see it as trash. Be yourself and be creative.
The way we eat daily, that's the same way I display my wisdom, stupidity, jokes, memes etc.
I drop MEMES daily without fear or favour from anyone or from any quarter.
Even when your problem is bigger than the land mass of Africa, you will smile as a result of my memes once in a while.
Facebook Profile
Facebook Page

Comedy/Funny Post/Joke / Top 41 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
« on: November 12, 2018, 08:56:04 AM »
Top 41 Hilarious Lines, Memes of SIR A-ONE
Below is a compilation of 41 memes, funny short posts, quotes, wisdom, as well as stupidities of the Pope of Memes, SIR A-ONE.
1. You people have been dating online for like 2 years now. Exchanged like 87 pictures together. You broke up without getting to set eyes on each other. See how you're being stupid on Social Media.
2. 31 years below are trying to impress People on Facebook. 🏃🏿‍♂ running for my Dear Life. 😀
3. You have published over 21 Books (Well written literary books) & you're still living in abject poverty. DISCOVER yourSELF.
4. I can't kill myself. In Primary 2 when I noticed my native name IGHEWENETOGBIKUN (The exchange of money is up for stories) was too long, I have to remove it from my School Register with the help of one Bros and replace it with IKWESIRI (Gospel/Goodnews). With the passage of time, even the Ikwesiri cannot be found in my First Living School Certificate, WAEC, Cert. UNIPORT, B.A DELSU, NYSC certificate.
Something is wrong with some Africans. Africans like me who take some native issues for granted. Anyway, I overcame it all when I found myself in Linguistics/Urhobo.
That thing you're scared of is even afraid of you. Be bold to do what you want. 😄
Last paragraph DON Spoil every like pickin wen no get sense.
5. I couldn't sleep till about 4.18a.m
I was just busy blessing my future wife & children.
6. You both can kiss even when you're yet to sanitize your mouths in the morning. You can lick her plate very neat with your tongue. You still wear condom to sleep with her. What are you scared of: pregnancy, STDs or what?
7. It is written, until You feature Davido, Wizkid or Tiwa, You're not yet a STAR in Nigeria.
8. When you use them in a Musical Video they usually think you will not leave them. SMH.
10. Between APC & ECO BANK, I don't know which is more useless.
11. One Day, I will be a STAR. I believe in Me.
12. My intention is not to flatter. I don't hate Me.
13. You want to get to the TOP? Make the right sacrifice. UNKNOWN.
14. I saw one Buharist saying He has successfully BLOCKED all Wailers on his List. He made a post with several praises & no constructive criticism. He forgot I'm still on his List. I would have said something on the comment, but he is over 67 years old. I don't want to insult any elder for now.
15. One TV Presenter told me she spent over N100,000 on her Hair monthly. That's my 500 times cutting of Hair, which is my 20 years Hair Cut. She receives like N145,000 monthly. Does it mean MEN are part of this her constant Hair making or she does it with her hard earn(ed) income?
16. Did you know the Facebook Group "JACOB ZUMA & ROBERT MUGABE QUOTES-LAUGH WITH THE FORMER PRESIDENTS" is where You can find the most creative works/posts? Search & JOIN for free.
17. Did You know that EFCC will not bother You if you steal below N5,000,000? 😁
18. If I see Buhari in Heaven on the last day I might break bottle & chase him out.
19. Each time I TALK about Religionists, Atheists, Buharists, Plagiarists, Feminists, Traditionalists etc on Facebook; I KNOW I'm offending some Persons. I'm SORRY.
20. He said He chose Wizkid over Davido because Davido is spending his Father's money.
ME: Did he bewitch your Dad with wretchedness?
21. SHARE button is there & You're stealing POSTS. What a waste of SPERM? Your Father should have pulled out.
22. When You see educated People STEALING Posts shamelessly, just KNOW they were waste of time & energy.
23. You can actually do without those who feel they are too important in your Life.
24. If twins can do without each other, you can actually do without those who feel they are too important.
25. How would You feel getting your post, website, advert, business, event etc at the TOP of a Group with over one hundred thousand 100,000 (100K) members for like 1 week? Contact me.
26. Brother PLAGIARIST just told me that calling him out was an act of jealousy. SMH.
27. I just hate STUPIDITY of any kind from anyone. Why claim to be a CELEBRITY when you're just a GOOFBRITY?
28. Don't argue too much with some persons online. They are just ridiculous GOATS.
29. People I have really offended: Religionists, Atheists, Buharists, Plagiarists, Feminists, Traditionalists etc. We break-up to make-up.
30. Plagiarism is on the increase on Facebook because People are SCARED to call Plagiarists out.
31. How to know People who are just SHOWING OFF on Facebook. They have over 100 Profile Pictures. 🏃🏿‍♂ running for my Dear Life.
32. I left your Daughter after 6 months of dating her with no SEX & You're complaining. How about Robert Mugabe who dominated Zimbabwe for 37?
33. Whether you get married early or late should not be anyone's CONCERN. Did You come to this Earth with anyone to be involved in any form of competition?
34. At times all you need is just a Lady to stop some of your stupidity online & offline.
35. I know of one person on Facebook who is STEALING a minimum of 25 posts daily to entertain people on his wall.
36. The way Akan, Chrisrian & others magnify the Personality of Buhari do makes Me wonder if they see REALITIES.
Anyway, is not by drafting episodes. I can condense my Thoughts on Facebook Background & Destroy Tables & Canopies with no remorse.
See my NEXT post.
37. I'm not getting younger. So, I don't play the kid's game. READ beyond the surface.
38. How sure are we that INEC will conduct a Credible Election come 2019?
INEC will promise to get your PVC ready within 90 days (3 months), but they will end up getting it ready 6 months & above.
39. Guy: When last did you see your menstruation?
Girl: I can't remember cos of Buhari's untold hardship 😃
40. How to know Spammers & Scammers in a WhatsApp group.
Restrict posting to only dedicated Admins & You will see them LEAVE one after the other.
You keep telling me to go & get married. Have you deposited N100, N500, N1,000, N3,000, N5,000, N10,000 etc. into my Marriage Account:
For my 2019 Marriage?
Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a full-time writer & literatus (writer).

I do it while others are still dreaming of the words & creativity.
Your day is incomplete without a smile.

I invest in originality & creativity daily!

It might not make sense to you, doesn't mean there is no sense in it. As our faces are different, so our likes and dislikes. Always remember that in this Life, it is a game of different strokes for different folks. Don't kill yourself trying to make sense on social media. No matter the sense in what you do, others will see it as trash. Be yourself and be creative.
The way we eat daily, that's the same way I display my wisdom, stupidity, jokes, memes etc.
I drop MEMES daily without fear or favour from anyone or from any quarter.
Even when your problem is bigger than the land mass of Africa, you will smile as a result of my memes once in a while.
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